There goes the neighborhod III: What the H-E-double parking space is going on around here?!

I had to take a brief hiatus from my “There goes the neighborhood” series after my most anticipated (by me) installment was derailed by a moving neighbor.  They were very festive neighbors.  You could always count on them to fully immerse themselves in the holiday (any holiday) spirit and then share that drunken joy with the rest of us.  They had a big inflatable lawn ornament for every major seasonal celebration: Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day, Easter.  And not just one ornament, but several per holiday.  They liked to think outside the box, too.  One man’s lawn ornament was their roof ornament.  They even constructed these ingenius little platforms to put them on to counteract the slant of the roofline. 

This year right after Valentine’s Day they put up their Easter characters.  There was a Tigger, an Eeyore, a Pooh, a Piglet, and a Pooh and Piglet duo all decked out in various Easterish accessories like bunny ears, eggs, baskets, etc.  They also had a trio of brightly decorated Easter eggs.  I believe that’s six, yes six, 6-8 ft tall inflatable characters gaily adorning the edge of the roofline.  Oh, and each conveniently featured internal lighting, so there was no escaping them day or night.  It was quite a thing to behold. 

These neighbors also had a greenhouse in their backyard that you could see mysteriously glowing in the evening hours just over the top of their fence.  Some of us quietly speculated about the contents of that greenhouse, contents which we thought might possibly explain a situation in which someone would think covering their roof in ginormous inflatable holiday characters was a good idea.

But alas, the day I had determined to finally snap my shot, the characters were gone!  The greenhouse was even gone.  They had been there the day before and then they suddenly disappeared with no warning.  I saw no moving truck or large vehicles of any kind.  Did they slink out of town in the dead of night?  It was quite depressing, and I was afraid I’d lost all love for the project. 

Well, apparently my neighbors have rallied to my support.  “We can’t let Bythelbs down!  We’ve got to find some way to annoy the living crud out of her,” they exclaim.  So here we are back at the parking situation.  I know, I know—dead horse and all that, but reader, these people continue to push the limits of acceptable parking practices and I’m constantly left to wonder if it can possibly get any worse.  When will it all end?

I’ve already bemoaned the lawn parker, but here’s more proof that this has become an epidemic in my neighborhood:

Now in this instance, I suppose I should feel obliged to note that their driveway was indeed already full, but what you can’t see from this photo is that the rest of the street was virtually clear of other automobiles.  There was ample, nay abundant, parking within 10-20 feet of their drive and yet they chose the lawn.  Sigh.

Our next culprit puzzles me exceedingly.  As you can see, their drive is completely clear as is the street in front of their house, but they have chosen to park on the walkway to their front door.  They’re basically parked on their front porch.  Why?  Why?! 

There used to be attractive potted plants along the red brick of that walkway, but it seems they have moved them for the express purpose of creating space enough for their Ford Windstar.  I have seen several people come and go from this house, and none of them walk with a limp or use a white cane or appear to have any other physical disability that would prevent them from walking the extra 15 feet to their driveway.  I’m just sayin’.

And now it would seem that my neighbors no longer feel the need to misuse their own property for their parking follies.  Any old sidewalk will do:

 

In this case, it’s not just about being an eyesore.  There’s a real safety issue here.  This is a public sidewalk intended for the use of pedestrians to safely convey themselves from one end of the neighborhood to the other without the fear of being struck by a parking vehicle.  Are you feelin’ me?

Double sigh.