Just keep your mouth shut and say thank you

Last week I was at the grocery store with my two-year-old, who passed out midway through.  Normally I would be relieved to have a child sleep through this kind of errand except that my cart was full and I had no place to put her, so consequently I had to hold her and try to navigate my very heavy cart through the aisles one handed.  It was a real pain in the tuckus.

I finally made it to the checkout and started unloading my groceries with BigHugs’ poor head bobbing violently around while I tried to balance her on my shoulder and stoop down to empty my cart.  A nice red-vested manager-type man came up and offered to unload my cart for me.  My first inclination was to turn him down, not because I’m the kind of person who hates the possibility of putting someone out even when they’re offering (although I am) and not because I’m so independent that I’m offended by someone’s offer to help (because I’m not)—I was just afraid that he would do it wrong.

I have a particular grocery cart unloading procedure that must be strictly adhered to at all times.  First, all the heavy stuff like canned goods, juice pouch boxes, bottled juices, etc.  Then boxed items like cereal and crackers.  Then refrigerated beverages like milk and juice.  Then frozen foods.  Then refrigerated foods.  Then produce.  Then eggs.  And lastly, bread.

See, this way all the heavy stuff is at the bottom so it doesn’t smushify my produce, eggs and bread.  And putting all the refrigerated stuff together and next to the frozen foods helps keep everything cold and makes unloading the grocery bags that much easier when I get home.  Sometimes I make a grocery store run right before another appointment, which often gives me just a few minutes to drop off the groceries at my house on the way.  If all the refrigerated stuff is together, I can just take in those one or two bags and leave the canned goods and other stuff in the trunk to unload when I have more time.  Plus most of the canned and boxed goods go straight to the garage shelves anyway, so what’s the point in dragging them from the garage into the house only to drag them back out to the garage again?

This kind of grocery organization just seems like common sense to me.  I’m completely amazed when someone in the checkout line with me will unload their cart all willy-nilly.  Cans of cat food with the tomatoes?  Really?  Bread first?  What?  And I’m completely irkified if the checker ignores my deliberate placement of goods and goes out of her way to disrupt the order.  One woman reached over my boxes of pasta, past my triscuits and actually grabbed my yogurt so she could stick it in the bag with my canned beans.  There was a reason why the yogurt was next to the cheese and butter, lady.  I did it on purpose!  Didn’t you see the protective barrier of boxed goods between my heavy canned and delicate chilled items?!

I once had a checker who not only recognized, but praised the system.  That was somewhat gratifying.  Someone got me.

I did finally relent and allow this man his good deed.  Of course he did it all wrong—eggs first, produce and refrigerated items spread all over the place with canned goods randomly interspersed, and my bread smack dab in the middle of it all.  Sigh.  But I just kept my mouth shut and said thank you.  Sorting through the aftermath and eating trapezoidally shaped sandwiches was worth it.  After all, there was no way I could have unloaded that cart all by myself in a timely manner and the man was really so very kind about it.

Have you ever had to hold your tongue when someone “helped” you?  And more importantly, do you have a grocery unloading system?