Today’s shaping up to be a busy day, but I didn’t want y’all (yes, I said “y’all” and I’m not from the south—deal with it) to feel neglected, so here are a few more crazy search terms hits I’ve gotten since the last time we talked about this:
my higienist loves me—You too? It’s kind of weird, right?
sock monkey bathroom sets—Uh, seriously? There’s like an actual market for this?
where did lbs come from—What exactly do you mean by this? I’m trying to decide whether or not to be offended. It is a choice, you know.
pap smear funny lines—Is this for some kind of stand-up act? Because if you’re looking for material on the internet you might run into some proprietary issues. Or are you just looking to ease the tension at your next womanly appointment? Yeah, uh, let me know how that works out for ya.
oh woes me—Ditto, man. Ditto. And not to kick you when you’re down or anything, but I’m pretty sure it’s oh woe is me.
So feel free to share any new hits you’ve gotten since we last talked. You can post them here in the comments section or write your own post and let me know and I’ll link to it. Here are some other crazy search terms posts inspired by my first effort:
All search engines lead to the Giraffe
I didn’t inspire this one, but she was nice enough to leave a link on my comments and it’s definitely worth checking out:
OK, now go have your fun, but don’t forget to come back and tell us all about it.
And here’s a little PB to get you off and running.


19 comments
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May 8, 2008 at 8:44 am
Jamie J
Once again nothing creative ever brings people to my blog–I just checked my site meter this morning….guess I have to start thinking a little more!
May 8, 2008 at 9:20 am
cheryl
Okay, I must have not read my pages right, because I just found Tons of stuff! Here they are (the most random ones):
Dung beetles Idaho
Ryan flirts with Brooke
Sunday School Object Lesson Suitcase
5 year itch marriage
BYU Idaho Prom
Crazy Cheryl (that one actually fits me, eh?)
Fly Fishing + Nicolas Sheridan
May 8, 2008 at 9:24 am
bythelbs
Jamie J—yeah, time to start letting loose, sister!
Cheryl—Who’s Nicolas Sheridan? By the way, thanks to you “spanked hubby” is one of my top searches now. Who are these people?! Oh, and I also had “spanked hubby Cheryl”—hahaha!
May 8, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Julie
How do I check this? I have analytics on my blog, but I don’t know how to do what ya’ll are talking about. Oh man, I just ya’lled ya’ll, too. And the closest I’ve ever been to the South is Dayton, OH. Thanks, bythelbs….
May 8, 2008 at 3:40 pm
bythelbs
On wordpress I have a blog stats page that gives me all this kind of info. It’s just under “search terms”. I don’t know what it’s like for blogger. Cheryl?
May 8, 2008 at 4:45 pm
cheryl
I have google analytics. Is that what you are talking about, Julie? Because if it is, you just go to the Traffic Sources (on the left) and then Keywords. Voila! It should pull it up.
May 8, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Julie
Awesome, Baby. Thanks. Be back in a bit.
May 8, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Julie
How’s this for a crazy keyword: http://www.allenfamilyupdate.blogspot.com?
I know, pretty ‘out there.’
May 8, 2008 at 7:08 pm
bythelbs
Gees, Julie, if you’re not even going to try…
May 8, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Julie
I think it’s the other people who have to try, right? I got nothin’. Maybe I need to make my titles a little more interesting. How’s this: Spanking my sock monkey cures itches for dung beetles in Idaho needing pap smears. And then I’ll talk about a new recipe I tried that day. Leaving now to try that one…
May 8, 2008 at 8:06 pm
bythelbs
Julie, that was hilarious! But do you have any idea what kind of searches you’ve just subjected my blog to?! I’m bound to get all manner of pervs and weirdos now! Thanks a lot! Could I BE using anymore exclamations?!
May 8, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Julie
Send ‘em my way. On second thought, keep them to yourself. The pervs and weirdos. Not the exlamation points. I would like joint custody of those. !!!
May 9, 2008 at 10:50 am
madhousewife
“morrissey fonzies” ???
“giraffe slow “get it” joke understand” - I don’t get it
“perverted parts in the little mermaid” - typical
I also found out that my son is now famous!
http://www.unlikelymoose.com/blog/index/P1016/
Sorry, too lazy to make a linky today.
May 9, 2008 at 10:50 am
madhousewife
Never mind, it linky’d for me.
May 9, 2008 at 1:21 pm
bythelbs
That’s awesome. Your kids have always been very talented artists.
I got this one yesterday:
novacaine stopped the mint burning taste
OK, good to know, but how many people keep novacaine on hand? Plus, the mint burning taste means whatever it is you’ve got in your mouth is working. Am I right?
May 10, 2008 at 2:14 pm
patience
I get occasional visits from people searching for “eyeball sucked out by vacuum cleaner.”
Also, “Crabstick.” and “Fatuous.”
May 12, 2008 at 8:50 am
bythelbs
Yikes, patience—I’d like to see the post for that one.
Also, “crabstick” and “fatuous” sound interesting too!
May 15, 2008 at 12:11 am
Alison Wonderland
I always get “Alison Wonderland”s or variations on that theme but lately I’ve been getting “bosoms” a lot too. That post might not have been the best idea for so many reasons. I think my best is “cows don’t go in the driveway” I have no idea why cows don’t go in the driveway and even less idea how that led anyone to me but there you have it.
I always get a lot of “Jason Statham”s about which I have no complaints. And I’ve been getting superhero generated themes (”faster than superheros” and “jump tall building in a single bound”) as well but I don’t mind that since that’s a post I’m particularly fond of.
And this is getting to be as long as a post itself but I wanted to say that I loved your post about your creepy hygienist. I read it when it was old but I was new and I thought it was a little weird to comment on a post that’s been up for months or something (although it probably had only been a week or so anyway) long story short (too late) I think your hygienist is creepy and if I were you I wouldn’t let them give you the laughing gas, who knows what she might try.
May 15, 2008 at 7:24 am
bythelbs
Alison—
You can comment on any post without fear of judgment on my part! Are the superhero references from your husband’s super sock post?