I did it. I totally threw away the Christmas fudge yesterday. This Christmas was the first year I attempted to make my own fudge. And it was darn good. And there was a lot of it. I started out with two 9×13 pans because when I went to the grocery store to buy the ingredients, they were out of the 7 oz jar of marshmallow fluff, which forced me to buy the 13.5 oz jar of marshmallow fluff, and also there was no 5 oz can of evaporated milk, only a 12 oz can, so after making my first batch of fudge with 7 of the 13.5 oz of marshmallow fluff and 5 of the 12 oz of evaporated milk I thought, “What the hey? May as well make another batch.” Because what on God’s green earth can you do with marshmallow fluff besides mix it in with a bunch of other stuff that’s actually edible to make fudge. And I don’t even get what the story is with the evaporated milk. I have very limited knowledge of the ways of the culinary arts.
So I had these two huge pans of fudge, of which I gave almost a full half pan to my sister, but I still had fuuudge. Like I said, it was darn good. So I ate it. A lot of it. But every time I would go back to the two tupperwares containing the fudge, they always seemed to still be more than half full. No matter how much I ate. There was no bottom to this fudge container—very Mary Poppins’ carpet bag or Jesus’ bread and fish basket. It was starting to mess with my mind, and it wasn’t doing any favors for my thighs either, I’ll tell you what.
So last night I did the unthinkable and threw out the Christmas fudge. It obviously didn’t want to go because I had to pry it from the bottom of the container. But eventually I vanquished the beast and now I’m living in a fudge free home again. It feels good.
I’ve actually done pretty decent this holiday season, weight-wise. As of this morning, my scale says I’ve only gained maybe 2-3 lbs, which has to be some kind of record for me. I’m not overly concerned about my weight. Don’t get me wrong, I could stand to lose 10 or 15 lbs, but I think I look fine. That’s just a fine, not a fiiiiiine. My husband would say I look fiiiiiine, but then he’s looking through the eyes of love, and we all know that love is blinder than an up and coming figure skater with dreams of Olympic gold who knocks her head on a garden table whilst showing off with a triple axel. Or something. What I mean is, I don’t have a super poor body image, so I’m not overly motivated to lose weight. Or I’m not overly concerned about it as far as how I look. But I’m starting to realize that when it comes to the food I inflict on my body, it’s not just about how it translates into the numbers on my scale. And yes, here’s where I say it’s not about looks, but about my health. And somehow I’m managing to keep a straight face.
I’m a grazer, a snacker, a lover of all foods healthy and mostly not. I eat when I’m bored, when I’m tired, when I’m hungry, when I’m wandering around the house aimlessly, when I’m trying to avoid the housework. “That laundry will just have to wait. It’s elevensies!” It’s just unnecessary, so I’ve decided to try to curb it. Notice I didn’t say stop. Any time I speak with any kind of finality, I’m totally screwed. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told myself, “I am not going to eat any sweets today” only to find my self popping a single m&m in my mouth with the rationalization that it’s just one and what can it hurt. But once I have that one, some kind of switch is triggered in my brain and I get this flashing “mission failed” message before my eyes and then my new mission, should I choose to accept it and I always do, is to eat everything in sight. All or nothing, baby. All or nothing.
So I’m not making any kind of goal or resolution or anything. I’m just going to do things like throw away the fudge and stop pretending that I’m buying the Cheetos for BigHugs. That is all. No mission, no mission failure, no inhaling of the pantry in a single bound. And if my body decides to relinquish a couple of pounds or not, so be it.




16 comments
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January 7, 2009 at 11:34 am
madhousewife
You’re a stronger woman than I am. My Christmas fudge lasted a long time, but I had my daughter to help me eat it. And I had to keep eating it, too, to keep her from eating too much of it. I know, I’m such a humanitarian.
January 7, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Mother of the Wild Boys
Way to go with the fudge. That is definitely my big holiday weakness, OH FUUUUDGE!
January 7, 2009 at 1:54 pm
kamillivanilli
Way to go! Can you come to my house and throw away all of my Christmas candy crap that I still have laying around? I just can’t seem to part with it.
January 7, 2009 at 2:16 pm
shazza
I’m very proud of you for the fudge-throwing-away and for the many pop cultural references in this post which I got that allowed me to feel cool and with it if just for a moment.
January 7, 2009 at 2:29 pm
thewoobdog
Ok, seriously, you COULD have made little Ziploc-enclosed happy fudgy Christmas send-outs for your blog-buddies. Just sayin’.
Oh, AND – little-known use for marshmallow fluff: mix 1 jar (small) with 1 (small) container of flavored cream cheese (ie, honey-nut, pineapple, blueberry, strawberry) to make a really tasty fruit dip. Not a HEALTHY fruit dip, necessarily, but tasty. And fast. And did I mention tasty? And the fruit you dip in it is healthy… and tasty… (I take this to potlucks or whatnot where I have to have something to take and I have to pull it together FAST). So, you know…
A lady I work with makes ‘fluffernutter’ sandwiches for her kid’s lunch – peanut butter & marshmallow fluff, in case that wasn’t obvious… I just couldn’t do it, myself. Nosirree. Nope. (Don’t WANT to do it, in case I like it and fall in love with yet ANOTHER food with little or no redeeming nutritional value).
January 7, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Susan M
You go, girl.
January 7, 2009 at 4:36 pm
foofer
Just wanted you to know that BratzBasher and I were ROTFL over the “just one” m&m scenario.
January 7, 2009 at 7:03 pm
cheryl
But you didn’t REALLY say fudge, did you?
You are a wise woman. If it’s not in the house, it won’t go in your mouth!
January 7, 2009 at 7:14 pm
bythelbs
Mad—Humanitarian, for sure. We all have to do our part in whatever way we can.
Mother—Sonnuva…
Kamilli—I will happily come over and dispose of your Christmas candy crap, but do you really want me to?
Shazza—If one person got the Ice Castles thing, my work here is done.
Woob—I have never wanted to try a “fluffernutter” sandwich. Ever. I’m not sure I’m sold on your fruit dip idea either, but I do have great respect for you, so that carries a lot of weight. Next year, you will get fudge.
Susan—*knuckle bump*
Foofer—I did manage to just eat one of the ones you had sent. I’m keeping the little baggy on the counter as a special keepsake, and if I don’t do one at a time, it won’t last long.
Cheryl—Hell yes, I did.
January 7, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Julie
I did not get one ounce of fudge from anyone this whole holiday season. Not even one! It was a pretty bummerful event. I did, however, manage to make and consume an entire batch of the corn popper caramel yumminess….like 2 weeks before Christmas even started.
January 8, 2009 at 5:47 am
Alison Wonderland
I also did not get any fudge this year– last year, whatever. So I’m a little sad about your thoughtless wasting of a precious (and apparently vanishing, since Julie didn’t get any either) resource. But you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, I can respect that.
January 8, 2009 at 9:26 am
doublebanker
Fudge and me are not a good combination, especially at the start of my annual diet
January 8, 2009 at 4:53 pm
bythelbs
Julie and Alison—I had no idea there were so many fudge deprived this holiday season. Had I known, I would have taken a very different fudge-related course of action. Let that be a lesson to me.
doublebanker—See, you just can’t say things like “start of annual diet”. You’re just setting yourself up for failure, man. But good luck to you!
January 8, 2009 at 6:11 pm
flip flop mama
Seriously, I didn’t get any good fudge either. Just the packaged kind in a tin from T-Bone’s Grandpa. I didn’t even taste it. It wasn’t worth my time. Your fudge sounds divine!
January 8, 2009 at 6:12 pm
flip flop mama
Oh and I have to say, the fruit dip is yummy, although I add a few more things to it.
April 28, 2009 at 9:59 am
Phooey on phood « By the lbs
[...] diet failure. Complete. Failure. I think we’ve had this conversation before over the Christmas fudge. Anyway, I’ve just been trying to cut down a bit—maybe have one piece of toast [...]