This edition of WSTW is dedicated to Mr. Norris in honor of his birthday, which was actually yesterday. OK, maybe I’m a day late, but around our house everyday is like Chuck Norris’ birthday, so you can see how it might have momentarily slipped my mind. (Do you think he’ll buy that? Let’s just keep these belated birthday wishes between us, just in case. Shhhh…)
how many birthdays does Chuck Norris hav(e)—I’m going to go out on a limb here and say AS MANY AS HE WANTS. I’ve also heard: “Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it’s just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.”
cowbell chuck norris—Are these seriously available?! I obviously purchased prematurely. I’m thinking I may need to pimp out my cowbell.
Or maybe they mean this:
chuck lbs—First of all, Chuck does not disclose his weight. Probably because he intimidates the crap out of scales. But here are some other Chuck Norris health and exercise related facts:
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he goes up and the world goes down.
After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
Chuck Norris does not lift weights, weights rise before Chuck Norris.
chuck erotica—Dude, I wouldn’t go there if I were you. Just… No.
ideas on how to celebrate chuck norris b(irthday)—First of all, you’re going to need a kickbutt cake. Like this one:
Or maybe this one:
(Was this cake really for a 2 year old?)
Then for gifts, might I suggest a classic CN tee:
Paired with an authentic pair of Chuck designed and approved action jeans:
In case you’re having trouble with the fine print, the description reads, “Developed by Chuck Norris for stunt fighting in movies. These great looking western style jeans have a unique hidden gusset which allows greater movement without binding or ripping.” A steal at $19.95—you can pick up a pair for the birthday boy (or girl) and yourself!
Happy Birthday, Mr. Norris! Stay classy! And actiony!