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Yesterday I made an appointment to have BigHugs’ picture taken. So you know what that means—some time in the next 24 hours she will either come down with a cold, a raging case of pinkeye or have some other kind of face-maiming accident. She hasn’t had a professional picture taken in over 2 years. Can you guess why? It seems almost irresponsible of me to risk my child’s health and safety this way with an actual scheduled appointment, but for some reason I felt it must be done. I’m hoping this time the universe will prove me wrong. Prove me wrong, Universe! Prove me wrong!
And now, on a more serious note: a Bythelbs special comment.
Yesterday something else happened that turned my world upside down. Black is no longer black. White is no longer white. Everything is just a big fat puddle of muddled gray. And just when I was thinking that things might be starting to calm down—that maybe we’re getting ready to move past all of this election drama and settle into our new reality. But now I’m not so sure we’re ready to move on together. It seems that we’re as divided as ever.
I consider myself to be a very open-minded, reasonably non-judgmental person. I like to think of our little blogging community here at Bythelbsia as a safe place for people of all persuasions, walks of life, values and ideas, but even I’m having difficulty reconciling my affection for dear friends with their individual beliefs and opinions. No, I am confident I can get past this. It may not be today or even tomorrow. But the day will come again when I can see you all as the good, good people that you truly are regardless of your Cheetos-density preference. It will come. I must believe it.
You know, I didn’t start this little blogging venture with the intention of making money. Which is good. Because I haven’t. At all. That’s not to say it hasn’t been a profitable experience. I’ve become rich in friends, dear readers. Rich. In. Friends. Yeah, I’m talking about you, people. So thank you.
Have an awesome weekend!
(Insert cheesy musical tribute here.)
So the other day I was blog browsing and came across this test over at Mary’s place. You plug in your blog’s URL and it measures your use of profanity and spits out a percentage. According to the cuss-o-meter, my blog is G rated—no cussing. I hate to admit it, but I was slightly disappointed. Here I thought I was all edgy and pushing the envelope of polite conversation. I’ve even been concerned at times that I might offend or corrupt someone, but apparently I’m wholesome. Wholesome! Harumph.
Here it is—proof of my piety:
Just for kicks, I thought I’d test out some of the blogs I frequent to see how they compare to my own wholesomey goodness. And the blogs I frequent, gentle readers, are yours. Yes, yours. There were some interesting results, which I will now publish here. Don’t worry, I’ve kept you anonymous to protect the innocent and the guilty.
Frankly, I was thinking this one was a little low.
I was kind of surprised by this one as I’ve rarely encountered anything I would consider to be off-color.
This one didn’t surprise me at all.
Created by OnePlusYou
I think this one’s a wannabe rebel. Like me. Only a more successful one, obviously, with that half a percent.
So getting back to me, I’m curious if any of you are surprised by my results. Has my word choice ever given you pause? Am I your guilty pleasure? Or am I a regular Pollyanna? Is there no edginess here? Am I completely devoid of edges? This is for posterity, so be honest.
An award! From Cheryl! Behold the oddness!
This blog invests and believes, the proximity. [meaning, that blogging makes us 'close' -being close through proxy]. They all are charmed with the blogs, where in the majority of its aims are to show the marvels and to do friendship; there are persons who are not interested when we give them a prize, and then they help to cut these bows; do we want that they are cut, or that they propagate? Then let’s try to give more attention to them! So with this prize we must deliver it to 8 bloggers that in turn must make the same thing and put this text.
I know, this is so last week, but with DynaGirl’s birthday and the homecoming of the Chuck, I had already posted two days ahead, and when you already have posts just sitting there in the queue all ready to post, you don’t just jump in there and post again. Timeliness be darned!
I realized just this morning that this is a chain award, and I’m not usually a chain person, but I am always loathe to cut the bows of proximity to our friendship so I am extending this award to:
Susan M, kamillivanilli, Boquinha, Patience and Jody.
Yes, I know that’s only five, but with the rounds this award has been making, I’m running out of bows of friendship. I only know so many people, people. Not to say that these five fine bloggers are awardees by default or that I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel in any way. There is no barrel bottom here! No sir!
And, my friends, please do not in any way feel obligated to continue the chain. I promise not to come to your blog and check to see if you have posted about it or anything. Well, I suppose since I read all of your blogs I will know if you have posted about it, but I will be in no way offended should you choose to revel in the glory of this award privately.
Ooh, but you could do this 7 random things about me meme that goes with it!
1. I think I may have a minor apple allergy. Whenever I eat more than a couple of apple slices my face gets all hot and flush.
2. When I take dinner to someone (like when they have a new baby or an illness) I always make the same thing. Creamy chicken enchiladas. Always. And if I really like them, they get guacamole, too.
3. The word “supple” really creeps me out. There are many other words that would also go in this category, but that’s the first one to come to mind.
4. I am kind of afraid of raisins. *shudder*
5. As a youth, I was known to do a killer Fat Albert impression. My younger sister could do a similar voice, but it wasn’t quite the same so we called it her Skinny Albert. Or maybe it was just because she was skinny.
6. I haven’t been to a doctor for anything besides birthing babies in almost 14 years.
7. I’ve composed dozens of Oscar acceptance speeches in my head. They are always witty and funny, touching and relevant, and when I’m done delivering them, Meryl Streep gives me a standing O and I get a meaningful head nod from Jack Nicholson.
Had a great time with the special visitor! It wasn’t even the slightest bit weird to have my online never before seen in the flesh friend in my home in the flesh, which, really, is exactly what I had expected. Those really are the best kind of friends—the ones who just fit so naturally and effortlessly and seem to have been there all along.
I’ve been trying to do this blasted photo meme forever, and with Madhousewife’s help I was finally able to figure it out. Apparently, I was making it more difficult than it actually needed to be, which is totally unlike me, by the way. Snort.
1. Iglesia en La Urz – Riello, Omaña – País Leonés, Spain, 2. Vegetarian Tacos even meat-eaters will love!, 3. Womens Basketball Charter Oak, 4. Girasoles acariciados por el viento …/ Sunflowers kissed the wind … (Dedicada a mis 7500 visitantes/Dedicated to my 7500 visitors), 5. Rupert Penry-Jones, 6. Water Lily and its mirror image, 7. The Trulli of Alberobello at nightfall., 8. cheesecake for Lianna!, 9. We are choosing hope over fear., 10. Happiness, 11. Paint by Water and Light, 12. rambouillet harfang hilare 130705
I’ve seen this over at Madhousewife’s, Cheryl’s and Mother of the Wild Boys, so props to all of them. (I just tried to spell of “ove” like love minus the “l”. That was weird.)
Here’s how it works:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker. Choose 3 columns with 4 rows.
The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name. (kid version: favorite animal?)
Have fun!
Oh, and my answer to #10 was not “adorable bare Asian baby bums”, but that was a close second.
Anyone sick of Pearls Before Swine yet?
Look beyond the bazooka-toting, disco-dancing dog and there’s a very valuable lesson here. We’ve all got dreams, right? Hopes? Aspirations? There will always be a million little things standing in your way, and plenty of people to tell you you can’t do it, that you should just give it up. But you can’t listen to the haters, man! Flex that pointer finger, buff up that dance floor, and arm yourselves with the bazooka of positive thinking and perserverence! There is a time to dance, and your time…is now.
All this talk of dreams reminds me of those sage words from the incomparable Debbie Allen’s Ms. Grant. “You got big dreams? You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying…in sweat.” My sister, Madhousewife, and I spent many an afternoon in our adolescence at the piano singing along to such classics as Fame, Flashdance, Footloose. Sometimes we’d do a duet with me at the bass clef and she at the treble (or vice versa—I was always at whichever end had less notes), and sometimes she would just play while I sang or sometimes she would play while we sang together. These were good times, dear readers. The best of times.
Well, on this recent trip to Portland Madhousewife bestowed upon me a gift—the value of which is, well, incalculacable. She most graciously and generously bequeathed (I think it’s actually more of a loan, but “loaned” isn’t nearly as poetic) her Music from the Motion Picture Footloose Soundtrack piano sheet music to yours truly. I’m sure I need not tell you, dear reader, of the tenderosity of this moment.
So I’d now like to commemorate this destined to be historic event with the first ever bythelbs’ virtual (pretend) piano-side sing along, Footloose style. Footloose, as I’m sure you know, is a veritable treasure trove of classic 80s melodies, so it is somewhat difficult to choose just one for this momentous occasion. But I’m sure you will agree that ultimately the only choice that could be made is:
Feel free to be Mike (Ren) or Ann (Ariel). I, personally, enjoy flipping back and forth between the two.
OK, Mikes, here we go:
I thought that dreams belonged to other men, ’cause each time I got close they’d fall apart again.
Annes:
I feared my heart would beat in secrecy. I faced the nights alone.
And together:
Oh how could I have known that all my life I only needed you?
Whoa oh—almost paradise, we’re knocking on heaven’s door. Almost paradise; how could we ask for more? I swear that I can see forever in your eyes—paradise.
And second verse! Mikes:
It seems like perfect love’s so hard to find. I’d almost given up; you must have read my mind;
Sing it, Anns!
and all these dreams I saved for a rainy day, they’re fin’lly comin’ true.
Together now!
I’ll share them all with you ’cause now we hold the future in our hands.
Whoa oh—almost paradise, we’re knocking on heaven’s door. Almost paradise; how could we ask for more? I swear that I can see forever in your eyes—paradise.
Big finish, Mikes!
And in your arms salvation’s not so far away. It’s getting closer,
Anns, come in like you mean it!
closer ev’ry day. Almost paradise, we’re knocking on heaven’s door. Almost paradise; how could we ask for more? I swear that I can see forever in your eyes—paradise, paradise, (and one more time with painful bliss!…or just pain) paradise.
I just feel so close to you all right now. Any requests for next time?
Remember that episode of The Office where Michael splits everyone into teams to go drum up clients and close sales deals? The big issue with the potential clients was that Dunder Mifflin, being a small company, couldn’t offer them the same discounts and pricing like some of the major chains like Staples. The Office team’s answer to that was what they lacked in discounts and big volume pricing, they made up for in customer service—they could offer the kind of personal attention that larger chains with a googillion other clients could not.
I have a fairly limited list of blogs that I read on a regular basis and an even smaller list on which I’ll leave a comment. Occasionally someone recommends a blog to me so I’ll head over and check it out, and most of them are really, really good—the author is humorous and fun or witty and insightful. But if I notice that they regularly get 100+ comments on every post, I don’t usually stick around too long. I figure there’s no point in me leaving a comment because it will likely get lost in the sea of other comments, and I really don’t have time to read through 100+ comments anyways, and if you don’t read all the comments you can’t really be involved in the discussion and that’s really why I’ve come to love blogging—getting involved in a discussion or even just some playful banter with other people.
I love interacting with a community of bloggers. I really enjoy having people stop by Bythelbs and leave a comment (don’t be shy), and I love being able to read every comment and even respond to most of them if I have something worthwhile (or not) to say.
See? I’m Dunder Mifflin. I’m the little guy. I can’t offer you any big giveaways or promotions—well, there might be the occasional miniature sock-monkey gift basket—but I can offer you quality customer service and personal attention. Oh, and also those other endearing Dunder Mifflinesque qualities like mildly quirky to full on whacked out staff, offbeat humor and total workplace dysfunction. It’s all here, folks! How’s that for an offer you can’t refuse?
I took The Office personality quiz this weekend. I’m Pam, who are you?
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