You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'Wacky Search Terms' category.
(Non-triumphantly.)
Don’t leave me hanging!
she’d do anything necessary for him, and
what does more cowbells have to do with
Never mind. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.
how to get baby powder to stick to your
why is a diabetic not allowed to use the
Why, thank you.
a clever conversationist (But I believe you meant “conversationalist”.)
“i love you like jim loves pam”
I wouldn’t recommend that.
no lid deodorant
playing piano in pantyhose
goose part 1 and 2 by chuck norris
build your own funeral pyre
I wouldn’t eat that, if I were you. Or me.
crap birthday cake
brown tic tacs
trauma cake
“roma tomatoes” “black inside”
Doesn’t everyone?
i worry too much after looking like an i(diot) (No, I guess not.)
concave armpits (If not, I’d have that looked at.)
Sicko!
enjoy armpit whiff -she -her -girl -woma
cow print latex rubber
chuck norris erotica
Seriously, get some help.
lick my womb
stalking shelves
Mad’s husband’s been here.
“sleep country lady”
What if you’re just sure?
raise your hand if you’re sure sure
I would sue. (Although, with that flavor choice you were kind of asking for it.)
side-effect tic tac spearmint for 2 year
It’s too late for that. Put your money where your mouth is.
tic tacs sorry
I’d pay to see that.
funny curriculum night powerpoints
liberace eating pancakes
Someone is suspicious.
can a goose break your arm?
broke “arms” “casts”
why would a doctor make you wear a sling
“her eye appointment” “glasses”
the cake is a lie birthday
A “rose” by any other name…
loud pulse after squats
Testify!
grab the cowbell words in a song
i got a witness more cowbell
Accept no substitutes.
chuck norris look alike shoes
action pants de chick norris
chusk norris
chuck norros
Can you be more specific?
pity
sock*
kiwi fruit
dentistry monkey steal potato
Questions for the ages.
why does my fire alarm squeak
dairy queen pancake platter – what’s inc
what do you mean by de-pulping
If you have to ask…
how long is meat good in the freezer
explanation of chuck norris potato chip
what’s wrong with shaking tic tacs
You won’t find that here.
flossitude
motivational friday
the meaning of lbs
proof of sanity
You know, every time I set out to do a WSTW post I’ve got to ask myself one question, “Do I feel funny? Well, do ya, punk?” And lately, the answer has always been no, hence the WSTW special match’em up game edition for which Julie totally called me out. Yeah, I tried to put the focus on you under the guise of a party game so as to draw attention away from the fact that I believe I may have, in fact, lost my WST mojo. But when you fall off that blogging gimmick, you’ve just got to get back on it and try again, face your fears, blah, blah, blah. Plus, really, this isn’t about me, it’s about the freaks. We’d all do well to keep that in mind.
dress unassertive party—First, let me say there’s nothing worse than a vague party invitation. What does this mean? Is this the new casual? So jeans and t-shirts? Are we talking sweats here? Or is it more of a formal affair? Maybe an ugly cocktail dress that makes you feel all frumpy and nonexistant-like? Party planners take note: a good host does everything possible to make their guests feel welcome and at ease, including providing clear instructions for how guests are expected to dress. Sheesh.
bday cake 2 years old—Dude, don’t eat that. I don’t care how good it is. Or was. I don’t care if it was iced with (or by) frickin’ Chuck Norris. Just throw it out.
imagen de guacamole—Oh, I’m imagening, baby. I’m imagening my butt off. Well, more like my butt on. Dang guacamole and it’s fat/calorie-laden goodness! But oh, hohoho…
pulling a jeans—You know how when one of your friends does something lame or stupid and you kind of all dub that act as “pulling a (insert friend’s name here)”? I’m trying to imagine what these poor jeans could have done to warrant such razzing. And also who else you would apply the expression to. “Oh (insert eye roll here), there’s shorts pulling a jeans again.” Are the shorts then offended?
none taken meaning—I think it’s something like, “#$!*% you!”
scummed pencil—Are you looking for one or trying to find a way to descum yours? Pencils are cheap, man. Just chuck it. No pencil could be worth the trouble.
paper towels+vince offer—I have no idea where this is going, but I’m intrigued. Heaven knows I love me some paper towels. Is Vince going to make me an offer I can’t refuse?
what if you knew you were going to die?—Are you threatening me, Vince? Let this be a lesson to you all. Think twice before accepting any offers from a guy named Vince, no matter how tempting, no matter what the stakes. Yes, even when there’s paper towels on the line.
cheetos in burning car—Get them out, man! For the love of Chester, get them out! Wait, are we talkin’ crunchy or puffs? (*bonus feature alternative commentary: Please, Vince, not the cheetos! They’re innocent! They haven’t done anything wrong! They haven’t hurt anyone! It’s me you want! I’ll do whatever you want, just please leave the cheetos alone!)
necessities of life—Save the cheetos!
stalkery update and feelings—I so wish I could think of something funny to say right now.
to have a pancake on one’s head—How does it feel, Susan?
diaper taking out the trash—Now this I’d like to see.
fall out with your husband stick flip fl—(ops in toilet). Now that’s a little childish, isn’t it? Next time, in the heat of the moment, just stop and take a few minutes to think about it before you do anything rash. I think then you’ll realize the flip flop thing would be a mistake. Go for the toothbrush.
chuck norris before and after—When you’re talking about a run in with Mr. Norris, it’s probably best not to think about the after. As for the before, well, maybe it’s best to just avoid that little sitch-ee-a-shun altogether.
fat kids eating tic tacs—Yeah, I know it says the 1 1/2 calorie breath mint, but let’s not kid ourselves here. I don’t care what you’ve heard, what someone’s been trying to sell you, Tic Tacs are not the quick fix miracle diet food. That burning sensation is not doing anything to melt away the pounds, it’s just making your breath cool and minty fresh. Heaven knows there’s nothing wrong with that, but you’ll never get anywhere until you accept the fact that it’s not about dieting, it’s about lifestyle changes.
what happened to spearmint tic tacs?—Don’t look at me. Ask the fat kids.
yooyh fairy—”Dude, what happened to all your teeth?” “Yooyh fairy.” “Dude.”
sex wivals—No offense, but I’m really not comfortable hearing someone with your kind of speech impediment talking about S-E-X. It just kind of weirds me out. So just keep it to yourself, OK?
caption ideas for thinking person—OK, so I am going to put some of this on you. Here’s a few pictures of some “thinking persons”. Gimme your captions.
Thinking person #1
Thinking person #2
Thinking person #3
Thinking person #4
Thinking person #5
Out of the seven of you who played along, there was a three-way tie for first with a total of 4 correct. I think it’s interesting that 4 seemed to be the threshhold that could not be crossed. But don’t feel badly—just take comfort in the fact that you all are not as big of freaks as the average googler. Or maybe you all are even bigger freaks than the average googler. Feel free to choose whichever option brings you the most happiness.
So our top three (with their correct answers) are:
Madhousewife
G25 – chuck norris and cake decorating
I10 – used food paper towel
K18 – his and hers face butt towel
W11 – rabbit morphs into rocket
Shauntae
A6 – can you help i’ve got this strange sexual
H2 – golden toilet
K18 – his and hers face butt towel
R16 – round chewy sweet balls japan
Kamilli
H2 – golden toilet
K18 – his and hers face butt towel
P4 – pimp my chuck norris
W11 – rabbit morphs into rocket
Congratulations top 3! Look for some small token of my affection and appreciation of your wacky awesomeness coming to you soon.
I would also like to acknowledge our first runner up:
Jamie
A6 – can you help I’ve got this strange sexual
E20 – dark blue callous heel fungus
K18 – his and hers face butt towel
And second runners up:
Susan
A6 – can you help I’ve got this strange sexual
P21 – pimp my chuck norris
Kathy
F17 – cheees grater jeans
R16 – round chewy sweet balls japan
And third runner up:
Cheryl
S22 – ped egg warnings
Thank you all for playing! Here is the entire list of correct answers for those of you who feel compelled to see where you went wrong.
A6 – can you help i’ve got this strange sexual – I keep hearing Marvin Gaye, “Can you help…I’ve got this strange sexual feeeeeling.”
B13 – drag queen sock monkey – The sock monkey kingdom discriminates against no man. Or woman. Or man/woman.
C19 – cheese grate ball ouch – Ouch!
D23 – phobias about shoes being worn – You know, when I buy a new pair of shoes, I always check the soles. If the soles show the slightest indication of wear, even maybe just a piece of lint that might indicate a trip or two down the shoe aisle while being tried on, I look for another pair. The ones with the plastic/paper/cardboard still shoved in the toe are most reassuring.
E20 – dark blue callous heel fungus – Ew. Like, ew.
F17 – cheees grater jeans – But where does the cheees go? Into a receptacle built into the pants? Does it just smoosh into your legs? I think the folks in R&D have some more work to do on this one.
G25 – chuck norris and cake decorating – I can see Mr. Norris cake decorating. I bet he kicks those frosting roses’ butts!
H2 – golden toilet – “I’ve got a golden toilet! I’ve got a golden chance to take my _____. And with a golden toilet it’s a golden day!”
I10 – used food paper towel – I personally don’t recycle my paper towels. That’s why I buy the paper towel. I take comfort in the single-use concept. Like toilet paper. Single use.
J14 – mobile phone self portrait blonde mirror – ???
K18 – his and hers face butt towel – Just one towel? To share? For faces and butts? Let’s revisit this single use idea.
L5 – ginger underpants – Colored? Scented? Flavored? Is there some kind of medicinal quality here?
M9 – chicken thigh weird part – I HATE it when I bite into the chicken thigh weird part. Shudder.
N24 – hoa hong i love you – I love Susan more. And Alison Wonderland.
O15/26 – nude birthday cake – Frostingless?
P4/21 – pimp my chuck norris – As if you could make him any more awesome than he already is.
Q1 – susan pancake head – Ha-Ha! (Think Nelson.)
R16 – round chewy sweet balls japan – I can’t help thinking of this. Sorry.
S22 – ped egg warnings – Yeah, that’s kind of boring.
T15/26 – embarrassing birthday cake – Was it nude?
U4/21 – sexy chuck norris – Word.
V8 – washing machine nude – My washing machine is currently nude. My dryer, on the other hand, is fully clothed.
W11 – rabbit morphs into rocket – This is one of those, “And this brought you here?”
X3 – spot a fake ped egg – Bor-ing.
Y7 – tommy lee measurements – Are there really still people this interested in Tommy Lee?
Z12 – alison wonderland look-alike – a million a dollars!
As if WSTW wasn’t wacky enough, we’re going to mix it up with a little game. The lettered column has the first halves of the WSTs, while the numbered column has the second halves. Post your answers in the comments section in letter/number form (i.e. A12, B5, etc.) or as completed terms (i.e. “can you help i’ve got this pancake head”—that’s not correct, btw). How many can you guess correctly? There may or may not be a prize involved. Remember, think wacky!
A. can you help i’ve got this
B. drag queen
C. cheese grate
D. phobias about
E. dark blue
F. cheees grater
G. chuck norris and
H. golden
I. used food
J. mobile phone
K. his and hers
L. ginger
M. chicken thigh
N. hoa hong
O. nude
P. pimp my
Q. susan
R. round chewy
S. ped egg
T. embarrassing
U. sexy
V. washing machine
W. rabbit
X. spot a fake
Y. tommy lee
Z. alison wonderland
1. pancake head
2. toilet
3. ped egg
4. chuck norris
5. underpants
6. strange sexual
7. measurements
8. nude
9. weird part
10. paper towel
11. morphs into rocket
12. look-alike
13. sock monkey
14. self portrait blonde mirror
15. birthday cake
16. sweet balls japan
17. jeans
18. face butt towel
19. ball ouch
20. callous heel fungus
21. chuck norris
22. warnings
23. shoes being worn
24. i love you
25. cake decorating
26. birthday cake
You can find the first special intervention edition of WSTW here.
A friend of mine recently asked the question, “What are you contributing to the world?” To be honest, I don’t rightly know. But whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not enough. So I’m going to try to do more—give more—right here, right now with another WSTW special intervention edition. Sure, there are all kinds of freaks out there looking for all kinds of freaky answers to freakish questions, but who am I to judge? We’ve all got problems. We are all human and we all need to be loved. Everybody does. So I’m here for you, freaks (and I say that with the utmost love and respect because I am, after all, one of you). I am here for you.
afraid of phone calls and cant stop pluc(king my eyebrows)—Bless your heart. As if suffering from EPD weren’t enough. First off, let me reassure you, it’s going to be OK. I used to be you. I used to think I couldn’t stop with the plucking, but I did. And you can, too. Admitting you have a problem is always the first step to recovery. Set some boundaries. Define a no-pluck zone then no-pluck it. Allow yourself to pluck anywhere else, but do not under any circumstances enter that zone. That’s the danger zone. Once you cross that line, it’s a long road back, buddy. A long road. You can do it. I believe in you. Oh, and sorry, don’t know what to tell you about that phone call thing.
i am writing this mail to you with tears—You entered the danger zone, didn’t you. It’s OK. The first week or two is the hardest. This is only a minor setback. Reestablish the boundaries and try again.
just like everybody else—We are all special in our own way. No two snowflakes are alike. No two people are the same. I’m sure there is something unique and wonderful about you. Maybe your thing just isn’t as obvious as some. Maybe it’s a little deeper down. Just start digging, little buddy. You’ll find it! Just remember, in the immortal words of Mr. Fred McFeely Rogers, you are special.
step brothers molestation potholder—First, let me just say that you are very brave to come forward. I know this must be a very difficult and awkward situation. The most important thing is that you protect the potholders. Get them to a safe place. Then you can worry about getting your step brothers some professional help. There is healing to be found. But remember, protect the potholders!
help my computer chirps at random times—I can see how that would be annoying, but don’t panic. I’m sure it’s nothing serious, like say, a bomb. No, certainly not a bomb or anything like that.
how to get concave armpits—Um, I’m kind of at a loss here trying to imagine what kind of situation you’re in, but I recommend seeking professional help. I would advise against the self-reconstruction of the armpits. It just doesn’t seem wise. Or safe. But good luck with that. Feeling like you have a physical, um, abnormality(?) is hard. If you discover there’s nothing to be done about it, look on the bright side—you can use that stick of deoderant down to the nub without fear of scrapage! What I wouldn’t give for that. Besides my concave armpits, of course.
i need club like everybody have—I know sometimes it seems like you’re the only outsider in a world full of cliques and clubs, but you’re not. Really. Everyone feels this way at some point, even those of us who appear to always be part of the group. There are plenty of people looking for companionship and a sense of belonging. Just look around for people with similar interests and/or needs. Perhaps at an ESL class at your local community center?
im not a snack—That’s right! Stand up for yourself! You go, person!
flip flops make my knees throb—I’m no expert, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say maybe it’s time to buy a more sensible pair of shoes. Nothin’ wrong with making a few sacrifices for fashion, but when you’re talking about your health and throbbing—throbbing can never be good.
evil devil foods—Be careful here. They’ll pretend to be your BFFs—all tasty and delicious with their chocolatey and/or cheesy and/or sour cream and oniony goodness. Don’t be fooled by that momentary comfort you find in that foil-lined bag. It’s lies. All lies. They’re just using you. They don’t care about you at all. I’m sure you think you can stop whenever you want. We all do at first. But pretty soon you’ll find yourself lying in a gutter somewhere, elbow deep in neon orange cheese dust, ready to sell your soul for a 1.5 ounce snack bag. You’re better than that. You deserve better than that. Believe it!
snorting crushed wintergreen mints get y—get you high? get you minty fresh nostril breath? Dude, just eat them. Sure, it sounds fun and exciting—living life on the edge—but you never know what kind of long term damage you might do. Don’t get sucked into that lifestyle. It’s not as glamorous as it looks. You’ll find no fulfillment there, I promise you. If you need a more intense mint experience, trying sucking on like three at a time. I guarantee you that’ll get the juices flowin’.
ill be the one flaring my nostrils uncon(sciously)—But you don’t have to be that one. You really don’t. You can kick that mint habit. You. Can. Do it. Believe it!
how big are the holes in a ped egg—About the same size as one of those mini cheese grater things. Why do you ask?
mini cheese grater—Hold up now. Jus, Just wait. I’m all for home remedies and saving a few dollars and all that, but I do not recommend MacGuyvering the foot care. Seriously. I know it looks like a mini cheese grater, but it’s not. I’m pretty sure it’s not. Please, just spring for the $10 professional instrument. Trust me, you’re worth it.
can you use a towel more than once after—I don’t exactly know where you’re going with this, but just to be on the safe side, let’s say no. No. NO.
why always me woes me—Why always woes me? It’s woe is me, people. Woe is me. As in you are so woeful you have become one with the woe. You is the woe. I’m sorry for your pain and whatever, but sheesh, can we just get this right? For once? Seriously.
Speaking of seriously, you really should check out Susan M’s higher thinking and deeper feeling post, and give it some serious thought. Happy Wednesday, everyone.
This edition of WSTW is dedicated to Mr. Norris in honor of his birthday, which was actually yesterday. OK, maybe I’m a day late, but around our house everyday is like Chuck Norris’ birthday, so you can see how it might have momentarily slipped my mind. (Do you think he’ll buy that? Let’s just keep these belated birthday wishes between us, just in case. Shhhh…)
how many birthdays does Chuck Norris hav(e)—I’m going to go out on a limb here and say AS MANY AS HE WANTS. I’ve also heard: “Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it’s just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.”
cowbell chuck norris—Are these seriously available?! I obviously purchased prematurely. I’m thinking I may need to pimp out my cowbell.
Or maybe they mean this:
chuck lbs—First of all, Chuck does not disclose his weight. Probably because he intimidates the crap out of scales. But here are some other Chuck Norris health and exercise related facts:
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he goes up and the world goes down.
After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
Chuck Norris does not lift weights, weights rise before Chuck Norris.
chuck erotica—Dude, I wouldn’t go there if I were you. Just… No.
ideas on how to celebrate chuck norris b(irthday)—First of all, you’re going to need a kickbutt cake. Like this one:
Or maybe this one:
(Was this cake really for a 2 year old?)
Then for gifts, might I suggest a classic CN tee:
Paired with an authentic pair of Chuck designed and approved action jeans:
In case you’re having trouble with the fine print, the description reads, “Developed by Chuck Norris for stunt fighting in movies. These great looking western style jeans have a unique hidden gusset which allows greater movement without binding or ripping.” A steal at $19.95—you can pick up a pair for the birthday boy (or girl) and yourself!
Happy Birthday, Mr. Norris! Stay classy! And actiony!
And awesome!
OK, this was tough. Really tough. I read each entry several times and was thoroughly entertained by all. I ended up consulting with Mr. T, who was similarly entertained by all, but he helped me make my final decisions. I must say, the overall quality of the writing was superb, which makes us all winners here—the writers and those of us who had the privilege of partaking of the bounty of their harvest of… (Sorry, I have no idea how to end this metaphor.)
2nd runner up: Flip Flop Mama
She had me at “Sorry man. I wish I could hold you safe within my womb of inflatable goodness.” And I’m fairly certain I will spend the rest of my days looking for the perfect opportunity to say, “Did you just shake your tic tacs at me, you ergonomic rag?” Classic.
1st runner up: Foofer
Setting the scene at the family breakfast table was fantastic. Loved the point of view of the husband. And this passage was just one of many that left me in awe of her creative prowessedness (you know, that’s the second time in like a week I’ve used that non-word):
Suddenly a dish cloth grazes my head before falling a couple feet in front of my bowl of froot loops. “That’s not a very ergonomic rag,” Precocious observes.
“That’s aerodynamic,” I correct, absentmindedly. He waves his own “whatever” hand at me. And my wife says I teach the kids bad habits.
And the February 2009 Ms. Wacky Search Term Bythelbsia: Madhousewife
Believe me, it was close. You might say she won by a “long pinky nail Hispanic”. A long pinky nail on a monkey pointing down at a sharp angle as to make its distance ahead of the other competitors even narrower. It was this line that sealed it for me:
She smiled and brought a Cheeto to her lips, pinky nail crooked like the Queen of England, that long pinky nail shining like justice.
I don’t even know what it means, but when I read it I knew I was beholding a moment of literary genius. And Mad, you really should thank Flip Flop Mama, as it was her comment made on this post that provided the “long pinky nail hispanic” search term in the first place.
And finally, last but not least, special recognition goes to Cheryl for her Gloria/stud-muffin love saga. Mr. T read this one first and laughed out loud on more than one occasion, as did I. We had to deduct just a couple of points for not using all of the WST (since the others did), which gave her competitors an edge. But 3rd runner up did not seem sufficient recognition for her efforts, so I’m awarding her the Miss Congeniality title of this first ever Bythelbsia WST Writer’s Contest because I found her story of the utmost pleasantness and agreeableness.
I have a couple of iTunes gift cards and some other music related prizes that I’ll be sending to all of our winners because reading their stories was music to my ears. Or eyes. Or something.
Thanks for playing everyone. It was the highlight of my week! Well, next to the whole having the last of my children potty-trained with ridiculous ease and saying “See ya, suckahs!” to the diapers. Woo-hoo! Best. Week. Ever.
And here’s a little something just for you:
Have a fantastic weekend!
I have three fabulous entries so far (thank you Cheryl, Jamie and Foofer!), but I’m still going to extend the contest until Friday because more than one person said they might have done it had they had the time. (Yes, I know very well that this is something that people say when they don’t actually want to do something but also don’t want to hurt your feelings by not entering your lamewad contest, but I’m calling your bluff, people!) Plus Madhousewife hasn’t entered yet, and being a blood relation she gets special privileges. And yes, Mad, this means that you can’t get out of doing it. So there! 
I will be back later today to post the prize in case that provides any more incentive for all you people with real lives slackers out there.
You know, I put up these search terms for all the world to see and chuckle at, but frankly, I’m a little concerned about some of these people. And I have some guilt because they’re reaching out for help, and more often than not instead of extending my hand to meet theirs, I extend my finger of scorn and make a mockery of their pain. So today, it’s not about me or my amusement, it’s about all those desperate googlers out there and answering their cries for help.
can’t you people see i need some help—Yes, we can. We finally can. And we’re here for you.
picters of middle west—I’ve also gotten fruit picter and last month’s unicorn picter. It’s picture, people, pic-ture. P-I-C-T-U-R-E. I’m just trying to spare you any future embarrassment. Friends don’t let friends make ridiculous spelling errors.
does anyone like stale cheetos—Yes. You are not alone. Her name is Susan M and she’s really cool. So don’t worry, even really cool and normal people can have slightly alarming snack food preferences. You can carry on with life as usual. Go on. It’s OK.
impaled on a stick—Dude, I wouldn’t recommend searching the internets for a remedy. This certainly sounds like a situation best left to professionals. I know there might be some embarrassment, but believe me, they’ve pretty much seen everything. They are there to help. Just make the call. Help them, help you.
trouble with imposter tableware—No problem is too small today, my friends. I know it’s easy to be drawn in by the savings of brand name knock-offs, but sometimes the old addage is true: You get what you pay for. But it’s important to not let pride prevent you from moving on. Don’t put up with substandard tableware anymore. You deserve better. We all make poor purchases every now and again. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Just make a clean sweep. Get rid of the imposter stuff and treat yourself to some real trouble-free tableware. It might cost you a little extra, but you’re worth it, right? You are, you really are. Believe it.
i am right and the universe is wrong—I also got universe prove you’re here. I don’t recommend getting in the universe’s face like that. Don’t call out the universe, man. You can’t take it on by yourself. Trust me. You can’t win, and you really don’t want to risk pissing it off enough to feel the need to make an example of you. Nothing worse than an angry universe. And really, you’re putting us all at risk, so please—shhhhhhh.
i can not live unless judith’s with me—Yes, you can. You can. Look, I don’t know what you had with this Judith. Maybe she was your soulmate or maybe just some girl. Either way, it doesn’t matter. If she truly loved you too, she would want you to go on without her. And if she didn’t, well, then she’s not worth it. You’re probably not in a place where you can hear that right now, but you’ll get there. Yes, you will.
johnny gage sick flu—Johnny?! I’m here, I’m here! How can I help?
im a guy i trimmed the bottom of my eyeb—You know, I try and I try and yet there are still people out there who haven’t gotten the message. First, it’s OK. Whatever you’ve done to them, they’ll eventually grow back. And two, if you can’t learn to practice some restraint in the fine art of eyebrow groomage, then perhaps you should just leave it to the professionals. Also, I’d like to say that I appreciate a guy who understands the need for some occasional eyebrow landscaping and maintenance. Good for you. Don’t let this one bad experience keep you from taking care of your facial hair in the future. All of your facial hair. That includes the nose, too, buddy. Oh yeah. Check it out—you’ll thank me later.
gender morphing spell—Wait, just, just wait a minute. You don’t want to go messing with the dark arts, man. It never ends well. Have we learned nothing from he who must not be named? Hmmm? Just stick with what you’ve already got goin’ on down in there. Trust me. And be sure to leave those eyebrows alone too, will ya?
hoped up on meds how to come down?—First off, while meds are an essential part of treatment for a number of physical, mental and emotional maladies, you should not place all of your hope in them. You almost always need some kind of other therapy or counseling in combination with the meds for maximum healing potential. Don’t try to do it alone. There are people out there somewhere, I’m sure, who really care and want to help. And keep hoping. Hope floats. You don’t ever want to come down from the hope. Float on.
im looking for chuck norris—Woah, Nelly. Woah, Nelly. You don’t look for Chuck. Chuck finds you. And heaven help you when he does.
Recent Comments