Let me call you Sweetheart…

7 Mar

I’ve been in search of a properly fitting jean for many moons now.  I was finally down to one pair that was starting to wear mighty thin on the left knee, so I thought I had better just suck it up and buy something.  It has been no easy task as I’m kind of an inbetween size at the moment.  Depending on the cut, I’m often “More than a ten, but not quite a twe-elve…”  (Sing in your best Britney impression.  Oh, and yes, I did just admit my jean size.  I suppose I feel we’ve established enough of a rapport that would allow for the revelation of these kinds of intimate details.)

So I headed down to the Old Navy because that is where I’ve had the most success procuring denim bottoms in the past.  They have these cutesy new names for their different cuts:  the Diva, the Flirt, the Sweetheart, the Goddess. 

 Here are the official descriptions:

the Diva:  lowest rise, sits very low on waist, slim through hip & thigh, in boot-cut, skinny and more

the Flirt:  mid-rise, sits low on waist with a slightly higher rise in back, slim through hip & thigh, in boot-cut, flare and more

the Sweetheart:  classic rise, sits just below waist, easy through hip & thigh, in boot-cut, flare and more

the Goddess:  natural rise, sits on natural waist, relaxed through hip & thigh, in boot-cut, straight leg and more

My first inclination, of course, was to go for the Goddess, but I figured “natural waist” and “relaxed through hip & thigh” were really code for “mom jeans that quadruple the size of your already large behind”.  Obviously the Diva was out–I’m not one for a good crack draft or regular waxing.  So I tried on the Flirt and the Sweetheart.  The Flirt did come with adequate plumber’s butt insurance, but offered inadequate muffin top coverage.  It was not looking good. 

I was ready to ditch the whole enterprise, but thought what the heck, I may as well go 0-4 with these Sweethearts.  What do you know?  They actually sort of kind of fit in a non-coin slotty, un-muffin toppery way.  And if that weren’t enough, the twelves were too big.  I had to leave the dressing room and come back with tens and they were practically perfect–no tummy-sucking, hopping up and down hip & thigh shimmying required–and no mile long mom butt or unsightly creasing in the crotchal area!  (insert angelic chorus here)

And even though I’m quite certain that “the Sweetheart” is really short for “Sweetheart, it’s gotta be hard on a girl packin’ all that junk in your trunk, so we’re gonna throw ya a little bone and mark these all down a size”, I’ll take it.  And when I drop that last 10 lbs I’m working on, I’m going back to get me some size eights!

Here’s a little something just for kicks.


9 Responses to “Let me call you Sweetheart…”

  1. cheryl March 7, 2008 at 11:20 am #

    Dude! A ten?!?!?

    I’m hoping for a ten. I’m currently a 12/13 and although I want that 10, I’m so very, very happy. I’ve been an 18 for so long that this 12 business is pure bliss. Of course, you should know that I’m 5’10”, so I was a 10/12 at my thinnest (think wedding).

    I love Old Navy. LOVE it. Not really for the jeans, though –the knees wear out too fast (was your old pair an Old Navy pair?). I like Levi’s just because they last longer.

  2. bythelbs March 7, 2008 at 11:30 am #

    Well, I’m a good two inches shorter than you (so your 12 would look better than my usual 12) and at my thinnest (also wedding) I wore an 8. I really have no real aspirations of eightdom, but I’d love to be a true walk-into-almost-any-store-and-it-fits-no-problem 10. We’ll see. I told you I’m looking forward to your weight loss post.

    And yes, my old pair was Old Navy also! So there’s a whole weak-kneed conspiracy going on over there? Great.

  3. Jamie J March 7, 2008 at 1:43 pm #

    I’m glad that you found something you liked! I have not had success with Old Navy for years. But then again I’m only 5’2″ and they make all their clothes for tall women. The pants always fit me funky

  4. bythelbs March 7, 2008 at 2:00 pm #

    Old Navy has been very hit & miss with me lately for jeans. The pair that were wearing out I’ve had for a good 4 years at least. I hate it when you finally find a style that works with your body type and then they go and discontinue it. Happens to me all. the. time. Hence the nearly two year quest for a decently fitting pair of jeans.

  5. madhousewife March 7, 2008 at 3:59 pm #

    My daughter wants to know why I’m cracking up, but I don’t know how to explain “unlightly creasing in the crotchal area,” or why it’s so funny to me.

    I actually bought my last pair of jeans at Target. I guess they’re probably Meronas, or whatever the mom-jeans-for-moms-in-denial-of-wearing-mom-jeans are there. They’re actually flattering (mid-rise, no mile-long mom butt) and very comfortable (for me–probably that 1-2% spandex, ha ha). I can’t wear Levis. They just don’t fit me. They’re probably too pure. My denim needs to have lax standards and be very forgiving.

  6. bythelbs March 7, 2008 at 6:13 pm #

    These sweethearts are stretch denim–that must be why they fit–but they’re not overstretched hence the no unsightly creasing.

    I’ve never bought Merona pants or jeans, but I do have some Merona tops and sweaters. I’m a big fan of the Target special.

  7. cheryl March 7, 2008 at 9:53 pm #

    Jamie’s 5’2″?! Holy cow, people, I’m tall.

    You know, currently, my favorite pair of jeans were found at Costco. They were Levi’s and I found a 13 long. I decided, Why not? They are the best pair I own!

    See, just don’t try anything on. Let the magic of Costco just wash over you! Or something like that.

    I love Target. But if we’re talking favorites, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE DownEast Basic. It’s online (or in Utah) and I wear all their shirts. I’m walking proof that if you get the right style of shirt, you won’t look all dorky and/or fat in something cute. Like I USED to.

  8. bythelbs March 7, 2008 at 10:04 pm #

    You are tall. But tall is goooood.

    I haven’t heard of DownEast Basic before, but then I haven’t lived in Utah for over 11 years. So are all their shirts dork/fat proof? Because if there’s a possibility that something will look bad on me, I’m pretty likely to buy it. 🙂

  9. cheryl March 7, 2008 at 10:28 pm #

    I can’t do html on the fly, so here’s the website:


    You’ll have to check it out. I had my aunt (the fashion designer maven) take me shopping to find out what kind of clothing fit my body type and lucky me! It’s all about the princess/empire cuts. Luckily, downeast has a lot of those, plus all the super cute undershirts (think Shade). But they are better than Shade –way better. They also have some other types of shirts (not just empire cut), of course. Oh, and they are affordable. Yippee!

    Anyway, just check it out. You never know!

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