Archive | April, 2008

Two say whats? and an I wish!

30 Apr

In the car.

Mr. T, pointing at two side by side covered spare tires:  Look, that RV has a butt!

DynaGirl:  Or chipmunk cheeks.

Mr. T:  But they’re on the back.  Why would chipmunk cheeks be on the back?

DynaGirl:  Well, I don’t know.

Wait, chipmunks don’t have cheeks on the back?

On the way up to bed.

Goose:  I hate being me.

Mom:  What do you mean?

Goose:  I don’t want to be me.

Mom:  Why?

BigHugs, patting Goose’s back:  It’s OK about you.

Goose:  I want to be smart.

Mom:  You are smart.

Goose:  I want to be so smart I don’t have to go to school.  I want to know everything already.

Huh—I thought you did.

Bath time again.

DynaGirl:  My legs are so dry sometimes they hurt.

Mom:  That’s why we have to put cream on them everyday.

DynaGirl:  I hate cream.

Mom:  Well, how else are we going to make your legs be not dry?

DynaGirl:  You could use your magical powers of momness.

You have no idea how many times I’ve wished that were true.

Charming personalities: are you a taco or a burrito?

29 Apr

For my Cinco de Mayo party last year, I picked up some $1 plastic margarita cups in bright, festive colors to use for the virgin margaritas and strawberry daiquiris we served that night.  The cups did triple duty as they were also party favors for the guests and vehicles for my charming personalities game.

I downloaded some fiesta-ish clipart, cut them out and laminated them (to make them margarita-proof) and put them on a wire ring to loop around the stem of the cup.  Each of the guests were asked to pick out a cup with the drink marker charm of his or her choice, and then over dinner I read the following personality descriptions based on the picture they chose:

burrito:  You are completely wrapped up in yourself, and you’re full of beans.

sombrero:  Your looming presence casts a shadow wherever you go.  People tend to dance around you.

sun:  You’re always eager to shed some light on any given subject.  Be careful, or your more sensitive colleagues will get burned.

cactus:  You project a “Stay back!” attitude, but those who make it through your prickly defenses find you sweetly refreshing.

salsa:  When the chips are down, you like to spice things up.  Careful not to overdo it—not everyone can stomach your enthusiasm.

salsa w/chips:  You are always ready to compliment your friends, but heaping on too many insincere remarks may bring them to the breaking point.

chile peppers:  Your sweet, peppy nature is difficult for some to digest, but your true friends can’t get enough of you.

tortilla chips:  You play the supporting role to many spicier personalities, but too much pressure often leaves you feeling crummy.

tomatoes:  Is it toMAYto or toMAHto?  You are deceptively mysterious, but those who dig deeper may be disappointed to find nothing more than a fland, thin-skinned fruit.

taco:  You are open to taking on new challenges, but tend to crack under the pressure.

I must give credit to my younger sister for providing the descriptions.  She also threw in this one for good measure:

pinata:  Everyone is happy to see you, but happier still when your guts are strewn out across the floor.  People only like you when they’re getting something out of it.

All of my guests got a good laugh out of it, and were really good sports considering a lot of these are a tad on the negative side.  The funniest part came at the end of the readings when one of the guys in our group said, “Yeah, those all pretty much fit.”  What?!

So next time you’re having a gathering of friends or family, try making your own charming personality drink markers.  You don’t have to be using stemmed glasses—just print them out on sticker sheets or even regular paper and then stick them on a big plastic tumbler with a protective layer of clear tape.  If you’re having a theme party, pick objects along that theme or just pick a set of things from your group’s shared interests or maybe some inside jokes.  And if you’re having trouble coming up with the descriptions, just throw it out there to all your blogosphere friends—we’d be happy to lend a hand.

Talk to me:  Which one of these charming personalities best describe you?  Or can you come up with your own descriptions to go with these fiesta items?



Holy guacamole!

28 Apr

I had originally thought it would be fun to post about throwing a Cinco de Mayo party.  I hosted one last year for a group of friends and it was really a lot of fun.  But I figured the post would be much improved with visuals of the decorations I planned to give instructions for or recipes I made or games we played and I’m very sorry to say that I am just too lazy for that much work.  This is a non-profiting blog, people, and I’m just not ready to put forth that kind of effort yet.  With that in mind, plus the fact that my appreciation for this holiday really only goes as far as I really like Mexican food and the movie The Three Amigos, I decided perhaps I should not pretend to be the authority on Cinco de Mayo festivities.

If anyone is interested in learning how to make tissue paper Mexican flowers or a guess who concentration game made up of Latina celebrity body parts or delicioso virgin margaritas or fiesta-themed personality test drink marker charms (hmmm…I might just have to post this one), please feel free to contact me and I’ll hook you up. 

In the meantime, here is a recipe for guacamole that is muy fantastico:

2 ripe large avocados (or 3 medium or 4 small)

3T diced white onion (about one half of a small-mediumish onion or one quarter of a largish one)

4T diced Roma tomatoes (about one good-sized Roma—some people like to seed and de-pulp theirs, but I don’t bother)

4T cilantro, finely chopped (if you’re not a huge cilantro fan, cut this to 2 or 3—if you hate cilantro, you’re dead to me)

2T jalapeno, finely chopped (about one decent sized jalapeno—I do seed mine first)

juice from 1 lime (I actually only put in half my lime last time I made it—it was extra juicy)

salt to taste

Cut up the avocado and mash to desired consistency.  I like to leave mine just a bit on the chunky side.  Chuck in the rest of the ingredients and mix well.  I will also occasionally add a clove of minced garlic.


It should look kind of like this. 

If you already have a tried and true favorite guacamole recipe, I won’t guarantee that this one is better.  I will guarantee that this one is pretty dern good, although a lot of what makes a good guac depends on the flavor of the avocados.  Sometimes I get some pretty bland avocados which is most disappointing.  I like to get them when they’re fairly soft to the touch—you should get a dent with a gentle thumb press—but not too mushy or there’s a good chance they’ll already be turning black inside and that’s just depressing, especially considering how much I have to pay for avocados in my neck of the woods.

If you have a good guacamole recipe or other avocado/guac tips you’d like to share or if you just want to give us your favorite Three Amigos quote, please feel free. 

Coming up this week:  mini chicken chimichangas and maybe those fiesta-themed personality test drink marker charms

Oh, and one more treat for you.

Friday funnies

25 Apr

Chuck cut this out and stuck it up on the fridge.



What do you think he’s trying to say?


Just keep your mouth shut and say thank you

24 Apr

Last week I was at the grocery store with my two-year-old, who passed out midway through.  Normally I would be relieved to have a child sleep through this kind of errand except that my cart was full and I had no place to put her, so consequently I had to hold her and try to navigate my very heavy cart through the aisles one handed.  It was a real pain in the tuckus.

I finally made it to the checkout and started unloading my groceries with BigHugs’ poor head bobbing violently around while I tried to balance her on my shoulder and stoop down to empty my cart.  A nice red-vested manager-type man came up and offered to unload my cart for me.  My first inclination was to turn him down, not because I’m the kind of person who hates the possibility of putting someone out even when they’re offering (although I am) and not because I’m so independent that I’m offended by someone’s offer to help (because I’m not)—I was just afraid that he would do it wrong.

I have a particular grocery cart unloading procedure that must be strictly adhered to at all times.  First, all the heavy stuff like canned goods, juice pouch boxes, bottled juices, etc.  Then boxed items like cereal and crackers.  Then refrigerated beverages like milk and juice.  Then frozen foods.  Then refrigerated foods.  Then produce.  Then eggs.  And lastly, bread.

See, this way all the heavy stuff is at the bottom so it doesn’t smushify my produce, eggs and bread.  And putting all the refrigerated stuff together and next to the frozen foods helps keep everything cold and makes unloading the grocery bags that much easier when I get home.  Sometimes I make a grocery store run right before another appointment, which often gives me just a few minutes to drop off the groceries at my house on the way.  If all the refrigerated stuff is together, I can just take in those one or two bags and leave the canned goods and other stuff in the trunk to unload when I have more time.  Plus most of the canned and boxed goods go straight to the garage shelves anyway, so what’s the point in dragging them from the garage into the house only to drag them back out to the garage again?

This kind of grocery organization just seems like common sense to me.  I’m completely amazed when someone in the checkout line with me will unload their cart all willy-nilly.  Cans of cat food with the tomatoes?  Really?  Bread first?  What?  And I’m completely irkified if the checker ignores my deliberate placement of goods and goes out of her way to disrupt the order.  One woman reached over my boxes of pasta, past my triscuits and actually grabbed my yogurt so she could stick it in the bag with my canned beans.  There was a reason why the yogurt was next to the cheese and butter, lady.  I did it on purpose!  Didn’t you see the protective barrier of boxed goods between my heavy canned and delicate chilled items?!

I once had a checker who not only recognized, but praised the system.  That was somewhat gratifying.  Someone got me.

I did finally relent and allow this man his good deed.  Of course he did it all wrong—eggs first, produce and refrigerated items spread all over the place with canned goods randomly interspersed, and my bread smack dab in the middle of it all.  Sigh.  But I just kept my mouth shut and said thank you.  Sorting through the aftermath and eating trapezoidally shaped sandwiches was worth it.  After all, there was no way I could have unloaded that cart all by myself in a timely manner and the man was really so very kind about it.

Have you ever had to hold your tongue when someone “helped” you?  And more importantly, do you have a grocery unloading system?

Goose waxes philosophical. Or something.

23 Apr

Getting ready for bed.

Goose: Where did the first babies come from?

Mom: Like the first babies on earth? Ever?

Goose: Yeah.

Mom: From Adam and Eve, I guess.

Goose: Where were Adam and Eve borned from?

Mom: Well, they weren’t really born, I don’t think. God just put them on the earth already grown up.

Goose: Where did God come from?

Mom: From another God?

Goose: Where did he come from?

Mom: You mean where did the first person who ever existed come from? I have no idea.

Did I think about this stuff when I was six?

Over lunch.

Goose:  I wish we were dogs.

Mom:  What?

Goose:  Dogs.  I could be your puppy.

Mom:  Who would be our master?  Who would take care of us?

Goose:  People like us.

Mom:  But if you were a dog you wouldn’t be able to read or write or draw pictures or do gymnastics.

Goose:  Well then I wish we were dogs that could do all the things people can do.

Mom:  But if you want to do all the same things people do, why not just be a person?

Goose:  Because dogs are cuter.

That’s as good a reason as any, I suppose.

In her bedroom.

Mom:  Goose, this room is getting out of control.  You need to clean this up.

Goose, in her best pout:  But I suck at cleaning.

Mom:  No you don’t.  Remember a couple weeks ago when you cleaned your whole entire room all by yourself?  You did an awesome job.

Goose, almost genuinely sad now:  But I’m just so lazy now.

Sigh.  There can never be any doubt she’s her mother’s daughter.

Can you feel the love?

22 Apr

On a bad day.

bythelbs:  I’m going to go run a couple errands.  Hopefully by the time I get back I’ll be in a better mood.

Chuck:  Take all the time you need.

I let that one go.

Another bad day.

Mom, pulling out hair and screaming in exaggerated exasperation:  Argh!  BigHugs, you’re driving me crazy!

BigHugs, giggling:  You’re funny, Mom.

That smile saves her every time. And me.

At tuck-in time.

DynaGirl:  Thanks for giving me birth.  You’re the best mom in the whole entire world and I’ll always love you no matter what.

Mom, making goofy face:  Are you sure?

DynaGirl:  Yes, even when you do embarrassing things, I’ll still love you deep down.  Very, very, very, very, deep, deep down.

I love you too, sweetheart.

After school.

Mom:  Don’t forget you have piano today, so you should try to fit in one more practice.

Mr. T, heavily sighing:  O-kay.

Mom:  Don’t you enjoy learning to play piano?

Mr. T:  I suppose someday I’ll appreciate it.

That’s all I ask.