Hit me with your craziest shot

8 May

Today’s shaping up to be a busy day, but I didn’t want y’all (yes, I said “y’all” and I’m not from the south—deal with it) to feel neglected, so here are a few more crazy search terms hits I’ve gotten since the last time we talked about this:

my higienist loves me—You too?  It’s kind of weird, right?

sock monkey bathroom sets—Uh, seriously?  There’s like an actual market for this?

where did lbs come from—What exactly do you mean by this?  I’m trying to decide whether or not to be offended.  It is a choice, you know.

pap smear funny lines—Is this for some kind of stand-up act?  Because if you’re looking for material on the internet you might run into some proprietary issues.  Or are you just looking to ease the tension at your next womanly appointment?  Yeah, uh, let me know how that works out for ya.

oh woes me—Ditto, man.  Ditto.  And not to kick you when you’re down or anything, but I’m pretty sure it’s oh woe is me.


So feel free to share any new hits you’ve gotten since we last talked.  You can post them here in the comments section or write your own post and let me know and I’ll link to it.  Here are some other crazy search terms posts inspired by my first effort:

All search engines lead to the Giraffe

So nice that you arrived…

I didn’t inspire this one, but she was nice enough to leave a link on my comments and it’s definitely worth checking out:

People are funny

OK, now go have your fun, but don’t forget to come back and tell us all about it.

And here’s a little PB to get you off and running.


19 Responses to “Hit me with your craziest shot”

  1. Jamie J May 8, 2008 at 8:44 am #

    Once again nothing creative ever brings people to my blog–I just checked my site meter this morning….guess I have to start thinking a little more!

  2. cheryl May 8, 2008 at 9:20 am #

    Okay, I must have not read my pages right, because I just found Tons of stuff! Here they are (the most random ones):

    Dung beetles Idaho

    Ryan flirts with Brooke

    Sunday School Object Lesson Suitcase

    5 year itch marriage

    BYU Idaho Prom

    Crazy Cheryl (that one actually fits me, eh?)

    Fly Fishing + Nicolas Sheridan

  3. bythelbs May 8, 2008 at 9:24 am #

    Jamie J—yeah, time to start letting loose, sister!

    Cheryl—Who’s Nicolas Sheridan? By the way, thanks to you “spanked hubby” is one of my top searches now. Who are these people?! Oh, and I also had “spanked hubby Cheryl”—hahaha!

  4. Julie May 8, 2008 at 3:35 pm #

    How do I check this? I have analytics on my blog, but I don’t know how to do what ya’ll are talking about. Oh man, I just ya’lled ya’ll, too. And the closest I’ve ever been to the South is Dayton, OH. Thanks, bythelbs….

  5. bythelbs May 8, 2008 at 3:40 pm #

    On wordpress I have a blog stats page that gives me all this kind of info. It’s just under “search terms”. I don’t know what it’s like for blogger. Cheryl?

  6. cheryl May 8, 2008 at 4:45 pm #

    I have google analytics. Is that what you are talking about, Julie? Because if it is, you just go to the Traffic Sources (on the left) and then Keywords. Voila! It should pull it up.

  7. Julie May 8, 2008 at 6:54 pm #

    Awesome, Baby. Thanks. Be back in a bit.

  8. Julie May 8, 2008 at 6:56 pm #

    How’s this for a crazy keyword: http://www.allenfamilyupdate.blogspot.com?

    I know, pretty ‘out there.’

  9. bythelbs May 8, 2008 at 7:08 pm #

    Gees, Julie, if you’re not even going to try… 😉

  10. Julie May 8, 2008 at 7:36 pm #

    I think it’s the other people who have to try, right? I got nothin’. Maybe I need to make my titles a little more interesting. How’s this: Spanking my sock monkey cures itches for dung beetles in Idaho needing pap smears. And then I’ll talk about a new recipe I tried that day. Leaving now to try that one…

  11. bythelbs May 8, 2008 at 8:06 pm #

    Julie, that was hilarious! But do you have any idea what kind of searches you’ve just subjected my blog to?! I’m bound to get all manner of pervs and weirdos now! Thanks a lot! Could I BE using anymore exclamations?!

  12. Julie May 8, 2008 at 8:33 pm #

    Send ’em my way. On second thought, keep them to yourself. The pervs and weirdos. Not the exlamation points. I would like joint custody of those. !!!

  13. madhousewife May 9, 2008 at 10:50 am #

    “morrissey fonzies” ???

    “giraffe slow “get it” joke understand” – I don’t get it

    “perverted parts in the little mermaid” – typical

    I also found out that my son is now famous!


    Sorry, too lazy to make a linky today.

  14. madhousewife May 9, 2008 at 10:50 am #

    Never mind, it linky’d for me.

  15. bythelbs May 9, 2008 at 1:21 pm #

    That’s awesome. Your kids have always been very talented artists.

    I got this one yesterday:

    novacaine stopped the mint burning taste

    OK, good to know, but how many people keep novacaine on hand? Plus, the mint burning taste means whatever it is you’ve got in your mouth is working. Am I right?

  16. patience May 10, 2008 at 2:14 pm #

    I get occasional visits from people searching for “eyeball sucked out by vacuum cleaner.”

    Also, “Crabstick.” and “Fatuous.”

  17. bythelbs May 12, 2008 at 8:50 am #

    Yikes, patience—I’d like to see the post for that one.

    Also, “crabstick” and “fatuous” sound interesting too!

  18. Alison Wonderland May 15, 2008 at 12:11 am #

    I always get “Alison Wonderland”s or variations on that theme but lately I’ve been getting “bosoms” a lot too. That post might not have been the best idea for so many reasons. I think my best is “cows don’t go in the driveway” I have no idea why cows don’t go in the driveway and even less idea how that led anyone to me but there you have it.
    I always get a lot of “Jason Statham”s about which I have no complaints. And I’ve been getting superhero generated themes (“faster than superheros” and “jump tall building in a single bound”) as well but I don’t mind that since that’s a post I’m particularly fond of.

    And this is getting to be as long as a post itself but I wanted to say that I loved your post about your creepy hygienist. I read it when it was old but I was new and I thought it was a little weird to comment on a post that’s been up for months or something (although it probably had only been a week or so anyway) long story short (too late) I think your hygienist is creepy and if I were you I wouldn’t let them give you the laughing gas, who knows what she might try.

  19. bythelbs May 15, 2008 at 7:24 am #

    You can comment on any post without fear of judgment on my part! Are the superhero references from your husband’s super sock post?

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