Chuck Chat

9 Jun

At the dinner table.

Goose:  Have you ever heard of a rabbica?  ‘Cause I haven’t.

Chuck:  Erotica?

Me:  Chuck!  What did you say, Goose?

Goose:  A rabbica.

Mr. T:  It’s from one of the episodes of Roadents.

Me, giving Chuck my best “I can’t believe you look”:  Oh.

Chuck, shrugging and trying not to laugh:  I couldn’t understand what she was saying.

DynaGirl:  What did Dad say?

Me: Nothing.

Oy vey!


At the same dinner.

DynaGirl:  Does it hurt when you get your ears pierced?

Me:  Yeah, it hurts, but only for a little bit.

DynaGirl:  Does it hurt when you get your ears pierced if you’re a baby?

Me:  Yeah, it still hurts.

Goose:  Does it hurt when you get your ears pierced when you’re a grownup?

Me:  Yeah, it still hurts.  They’re still sticking a needle thing through your ear.

Goose:  I don’t want to get my ears pierced!

Me:  You don’t have to get your ears pierced.  Lots of people don’t get their ears pierced.

DynaGirl:  My teacher in first grade didn’t have her ears pierced.

Me:  Two of your aunts don’t have their ears pierced.

Chuck:  My grandma didn’t have her ears pierced either.  She used to wear those clip on earrings.  We used to play with them.

Mr. T:  You played with your grandma’s earrings?

Chuck:  Yeah, we’d put them on.

Mr. T:  You wore your grandma’s earrings?!

Chuck:  Well, I was only like four or something.

Mr. T:  Yeah, right.

Yeah, right.


So Chuck and I have recently joined Facebook, and we’re still trying to figure out how it all works.  We edited our relationship and received the formal declaration “Chuck and Bythelbs are now married.” 

Chuck, exploring the little pop-up boxes that let you update your relationships:  Look, I can cancel our relationship.

Me:  Nice.

So can I, dude.

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11 Responses to “Chuck Chat”

  1. cheryl June 9, 2008 at 1:19 pm #

    Bwahahahaha!
    I think we all know where your kids get it now. That Chuck. What a hoot!

  2. Jumbo Shrimp June 9, 2008 at 1:22 pm #

    Hilarious!! I love the earring story LOL

  3. madhousewife June 9, 2008 at 2:26 pm #

    My husband said that when he accepted Chuck’s friend request, he added the detail that they’d dated from 1993-95. Sometimes the relationship-canceling option is tempting.

  4. bythelbs June 9, 2008 at 2:40 pm #

    Mad—When Chuck confirmed his relationship with your husband, he said he changed the dates to 1989-1991 (or something like that) so as to clarify that he wasn’t dating your husband and me simultaneously. I informed him that he was a perv because your husband was a still a minor in ’89.

  5. Susan M June 9, 2008 at 3:15 pm #

    LOL. You guys are hilarious.

  6. Boquinha June 9, 2008 at 4:24 pm #

    Dinnertime sounds fun at your house . . .

  7. Boquinha June 9, 2008 at 4:26 pm #

    That didn’t come out right–I need one of those shocked, blinking emoticons. Well, maybe not shocked. Just blinking.

  8. Alison Wonderland June 9, 2008 at 4:26 pm #

    I was gonna comment and then I read the other comments and now I’m not sure I want to.

    PS Yeah it’s the being a minor thing that would be the problem with that relationship.

  9. bythelbs June 9, 2008 at 5:10 pm #

    Alison—Now I’m curious about what you were going to say. 🙂

  10. Julie June 9, 2008 at 5:19 pm #

    Nothing like Facebook to confirm what the state of whatever state you were married in declared as legal and lawful a long time ago…

  11. Charles June 10, 2008 at 12:30 pm #

    No more small talk coming from me at the dinner table… and no more quotes from Benjamin Linus… Sheesh!

    You realize of course this just increases the hits on your site for words like “Erotica” and “Perv”….. (and Sheesh, or is there any “Shiz”?)

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