What I learned on my summer vacation

8 Jul

1.  Even a 2 11/12 year old can master the fine art of “Are we there yet?”

2.  Just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of the cesspool barrel of public rest stops and gas station restrooms there’s always something worse around the bend.

3.  One thousand pages worth of novels is a couple hundred pages shy of adequate reading material for 26 hours in the car.

4.  You can never have too many snacks available for those 26 hours in the car.  Variety is important.  You can, however, eat too many of those snacks.

5.  Rock Band is perhaps the most fun you can possibly have on a video game console.

6.  Listening to your 8 year old daughter sing “Roxanne” on Rock Band is shockingly less disturbing than you would think it should be.

7.  Listening to your 11 year old son sing “Timmy & the Lords of the Underworld” is both disturbing and hilarious.

8.  It is possible to laugh so hard that Nerds come out of your nose.  And if that ever happens to you, don’t expect much sympathy because regardless of how unnatural and uncomfortable it is to have hard candy fly out of your nasal passages no one will be able to stop laughing to make sure you’re OK for at least a good five minutes.  Isn’t that right Mr. T?

9.  A purse accidentally abandoned in a cart in a grocery store parking lot is not necessarily lost and gone forever.  Sometimes you really can rely on the kindness of strangers.  And some of the strangers may not even flinch when you embrace them with gratitude.

10.  Nine days with your relatives and away from your home is both too much and too little at the same time.


We had a fabulous time, but it’s good to be back.  Hope y’all have been having fun without me!  But not too much fun.


10 Responses to “What I learned on my summer vacation”

  1. cheryl July 8, 2008 at 10:58 am #

    Okay, here’s the glorious benefit with being all anonymous. Nobody knows where you live, where you went, or how you went there (although it’s obviously in a car). So you don’t have to talk about what you did (other than the vague things you’ve left, which, btw, I love), or who you saw, other than some simple explanation of visiting Chuck’s family.

    Me, on the other hand? I’m barely into the explanations and pictures and I’m already tired.

    Makes one want to go all anonymous, you know. Thanks a lot.


    Hey, so Welcome Back! I missed you, you know. Truly, I did.

  2. Susan M July 8, 2008 at 12:15 pm #

    We all did! Sounds like you guys had fun. Does that mean you finished Poisonwood Bible?

  3. Julie July 8, 2008 at 1:22 pm #

    That’s alotta novels. And ouch. Nerds from the nose sounds less than pleasant, but funny like the time my sister accidentally hit my mom in the head with a snow shovel and knocked her over. We couldn’t stop laughing long enough to ask my poor mother if she was okay. She is, by the way.

    Oh, how I’ve missed you!

  4. Jumbo Shrimp July 8, 2008 at 3:02 pm #

    Welcome back! I love your list. Rock Band is awesome.

  5. madhousewife July 8, 2008 at 4:58 pm #

    I laughed so hard at #8 that Nerds came out of MY nose–and I wasn’t even eating Nerds!

    How awesome that you got your purse back. The miracles are happening right and left.

  6. Mother of the Wild Boys July 8, 2008 at 7:57 pm #

    Yeah, Rock Band totally rocketh. And I’m awesome at the fake guitar. 😉

    Glad you’re back.

  7. Alison Wonderland July 9, 2008 at 12:12 am #

    I’m so glad you’re back!!!! I missed you A LOT!!! A lot, a lot!!!

    Yeah it’s funny how seeing your little kids sing those totally inappropriate songs isn’t as disturbing as it should be.

  8. thewoobdog July 9, 2008 at 7:30 am #

    Rock Band makes good times. We got it for my dad for his birthday (what do you get the man who has everything?), although my sister has played it more. My husband and I rejoice every time my parents need us to house/pet-sit now because we know we’ll be able to play Rock Band for days…

    I made my husband’s character and gave him tattoos and made him look all rockstar-hot:

    Me: See? You look HAWT.

    TBear: Um… is that how you WANT me to look?

    Me: Well… no, I mean, you look hot how you are, you know, this is just your HAWT rockstar character. See the awesome tattoos?

    TBear: So… You want me to get tattoos?


  9. bythelbs July 9, 2008 at 10:33 am #

    cheryl—Awww, I missed you too.

    Susan—Poisonwood is done, dude, but take your time. It’s not like you’ve had 26 hours of nothing to do.

    Julie—Actually it was just 1 1/2 novels. The Historian (yawn) and Poisonwood Bible (I’d recommend).

    Jumbo—Rock Band is awesome.

    mad—I cannot even begin to tell you how relieved I was to get my purse back. I will forever love that lovely Twin Falls woman. I think her name was Heidi, actually. She used my cell phone to call and leave a message on our home phone. She may have single handedly restored my faith in humanity.

    mother—I can’t really do lead guitar well, but I rock the bass on medium and the drums on easy. My attempt at drums on medium was not pretty. I can sing decently too—Enter the Sandman was a personal favorite.

    Alison—Thanks! Right back atchya! And yes, not nearly as disturbing as it should be. Sigh.

    woobdog—I totally get you. Why are men so slow in this area? And I’ll be working on adding “hawt” to my vocabulary.

  10. Boquinha July 9, 2008 at 5:58 pm #

    Welcome back! And how awesome are you?! To send me a *package* IN THE MAIL the good, old-fashioned way?! Thank you!! Awesomeness. There is no charge for that, right? 😛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: