Archive | 10:01 am

Minor irritations for a Monday morning

20 Oct

I usually walk my girls to school every morning as it is only a few blocks away, but this morning it was cold and Goose has a cold and, well, let’s be honest, I was feeling kind of lazy so I decided to drop them off.  There are no words to describe the depth of my loathing for that special circle of hell that is the elementary school parking lot.  The parking lot has a lane designated for drop offs.  You pull into the lane and wait until you are in the safe drop off zone, let your child out, and then get the heck out of there so that the other parents can do the same.  And, of course, all the while remembering to pull forward as to not waste any of the precious drop off zone space.  It’s really not that hard until you have some joker who takes a good 5 minutes to push their kid out the door, and then you’re screwed.  Everything’s all backed up.  And then you have the other jokers who just can’t wait, so they completely bypass the drop off lane and pull directly into the drop off zone.  There is no bypassing, people.  No bypassing! 

Today I was in the zone letting out my girls.  The code of the zone is sacred, people.  Wait your turn, pull forward, drop off quickly, move along.  I know the code.  I live by the code.  And poor Goose this morning pinches her finger in the handle as she’s trying to pull the van door shut.  Do I get out of the car to comfort her?  No, you don’t get out of the car.  There is no drivers exiting the vehicles in the code.  Only pulling forward and moving along.  I do my best to console her through the window, making my sincerest face of sympathy, blowing a kiss, and then nodding vigorously with a smile to reassure her she would be fine.  The two cars ahead of me pull out and just as I’m easing my way out after them, another car cuts right in front of me, blocking off my exit.  She’s not even pulled in next to the curb, so I can’t get around her. Finally, after her kid is out the door, she realizes she’s going to have to back up to get out and almost hits me!  I have nowhere to back up—there’s a line of cars behind me, for crying out loud!  This woman does not live by the code.  Who is she to think she can live outside of the code?

So I’m good and bothered by the time I get home.  And hungry.  I figure a forkful of leftover birthday cake will be just the thing to chase my troubles away.  But there’s no birthday cake.  Nope.  Uh-uh.  The cake is gone.  No trace of the cake.  Not a sprinkle.  Not a crumb.  I can only assume that Chuck took the entire container of leftover birthday cake (which was easily like three pieces worth) to work with him.  The whole thing!  I’m totally not telling him where the Halloween candy’s stashed.  When I get the Halloween candy.