Curses!

12 Feb

Curse you Lay’s Sour Cream & Onion potato chips for being so irresistably sour creamy & oniony!

Curse you Goose for talking me into buying the green chips!

Curse you body for turning 10.5 oz of goodness into an extra 6 lbs of butt!

Curse you Lay’s for reducing the net wt. of your chip bags by 25%, but leaving the bag the same size to try to trick us into thinking we’re getting the same amount of chips!

Curse you BigHugs for following me upstairs with a bag of mini-oreos when I came up here to escape Hell’s kitchen with its devil snack foods!

Curse you mini-oreos for being so small that my “just a handful” holds three servings, 400 calories and 20 grams of fat worth of lard-filled chocolatey goodness!devil-lays

Curse you cookies for being so sweet that now all I can think about is a salty sour cream and oniony chaser!

Must. Be. Strong. Must. Not. Go. Back. To. Kitchen.

Bythelbs—we’re waiting… We’re so crunchy… and oniony… and delicious…

Shut up!  Shut up!   Lalalalalalalalalalalalal!  I can’t hear you!

Bytheeeelbbbbbbbbbsssss…

Curse my flesh for being so weak! 

Frick!

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17 Responses to “Curses!”

  1. diana banana February 12, 2009 at 2:21 pm #

    It makes my heart happy that you said frick. Is it just a coincidence or do you watch scrubs?

    Also, last night I had an oreo with peppermint filling and I thought I might die. I think that’s what I get for taking a bag of cookie dough to my friend who just had a baby (and is WAY too skinny!). That was just cruel of me wasn’t it? Cruel…or genius!

  2. Julie February 12, 2009 at 2:29 pm #

    ooooohh….Lay’s — they are so devilishly delicious.

    “Curse you body for turning 10.5 oz of goodness into an extra 6 lbs of butt!”
    Seriously…how does that happen?????

  3. Mother of the Wild Boys February 12, 2009 at 3:07 pm #

    Curse YOU Bythelbs, for being so funny that I peed a little when I laughed!

  4. cheryl February 12, 2009 at 3:19 pm #

    Dude! I thought you had stopped buying the temptations. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Hey, at least it wasn’t Cheetos? Or Cheez-its?

    Sour cream and onion is my all-time favorite potato chip flavor! It is the best. The best, Bythelbs, the best! It’s almost worth 6 pounds of butt…

  5. foofer February 12, 2009 at 3:55 pm #

    I have to eat my potato chips in a tuna fish sandwich. Mmm…crunchy tuna…!

  6. shazza February 12, 2009 at 4:19 pm #

    Can I add a “curse you Valentine’s day and the giant sacks of candy that just came home from school with my kids?”

    Frick indeed.

    Put your package in the mail today; sorry it took so long, but I think you’ll find it worth the wait!

  7. bythelbs February 12, 2009 at 4:41 pm #

    diana—I’ve been saying frick for years, but it’s entirely possible I stole it from Eliot. I wouldn’t put it past me.

    Julie—That’s what I’d like to know!

    Mother—Oh my! Sorry! Or maybe, you’re welcome?

    cheryl—I know, I know. But Goose begged for the green chips. Begged! And apparently I think they’re worth the 6 lbs of butt. Sigh.

    foofer—You have to have potato chips in your tuna fish sandwich. Obviously. Unfortunately, I have to have potato chips even when there’s narry a tuna fish sandwich in sight!

    shazza—My kids never get any good Valentine’s day candy. It’s always sweethearts and that Russel Stover chocolate crap that can barely be considered chocolate. Good luck. And I’m so looking forward to the package now! Thanks! (It hasn’t seemed long at all, btw.)

  8. flipflopmama February 12, 2009 at 8:51 pm #

    Mmmmm, sour cream and oniony goodness….mmmmm

    Love the devil pic!

  9. Alison Wonderland February 12, 2009 at 9:32 pm #

    The picture is amazing But I prefer/hate the salt and vinegar to the sour cream and onion. But in a pinch, I guess sour cream will do.

    And yes to the chips in tuna but only salt and vinegar, there will be no exceptions to that one.

  10. bythelbs February 12, 2009 at 9:50 pm #

    Flip—Thanks!

    Alison—The S&V are OK, but I can stop myself before I get too far into a bag. I feel similarly about the Limon ones. When I first tried them, I couldn’t decide if they were nasty or delicious, and I kept eating them to figure it out. I think I’ve acquired a taste for them. I’m calling them nastily delicious. If you like sour then you might enjoy them too.

  11. madhousewife February 12, 2009 at 10:47 pm #

    This post is hilarious, but the piece de resistance is the picture of the devil chips.

    I find myself saying piece de resistance a lot lately. Also, “Frick!”

  12. Susan M February 13, 2009 at 10:43 am #

    I only eat those chips when I get a Subway sandwich, because I have to put them inside the sandwich to make it crunchy. I don’t like onions on a sandwich but I like those chips.

    So I only ever eat the baked kind, because that’s all Subway carries anymore. Last time I was there, I wondered if Lays had only ever sold baked ones, and then later introduce the fried kind, if anyone would like the fried kind.

    Yeah, I didn’t buy it either.

  13. bythelbs February 13, 2009 at 12:36 pm #

    mad—Now I’ll be looking for opportunities to say piece de resistance.

    Susan—I don’t know if I’ve ever had the baked potato chips. I’ve had the baked Cheetos, which I thought were kind of nasty. They tasted stale to me, so maybe you’d like them actually. 🙂

  14. Boquinha February 13, 2009 at 7:01 pm #

    Ooooh, Dr. Reed, “narry a tuna fish sandwich!” I use words like that when I’m reading British books or gothic novels. What brought it on for you?

    I think I nightly go through the sweet-salty-sweet thing. It’s EVIL!! And when it’s PMS time (you know, as in “bajingo” symptoms), ai ai ai. Frick indeed.

  15. Boquinha February 13, 2009 at 7:01 pm #

    🙂 (blatantly posting second comment because I forgot to subscribe the first time) . . .

  16. thewoobdog February 18, 2009 at 6:11 am #

    HA HA HA!!!!! Love the drawing!

    Now you’ve got me thinking about Lay’s Sour Cream & Onion potato chips… my favorite… CURSE YOU!

    😉

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Wacky search terms Wednesday—second special intervention edition « By the lbs - March 18, 2009

    […] find yourself lying in a gutter somewhere, elbow deep in neon orange cheese dust, ready to sell your soul for a 1.5 ounce snack bag.  You’re better than that.  You deserve better than that.  […]

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