Of memes and lameness

16 Feb

So I was talking to Alison Wonderland this weekend about all of these lame memes that have been making their way around Facebook.  Specifically, the lame “Yes or No” meme.

Exhibit A:

Yes or No Share

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks!

Now, here’s what you’re supposed to do… And please do not spoil the Fun. Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag as many of your friends as you’d like to. Then see what happens.

Kissed anyone one of your facebook friends? yes

Been arrested? no

Kissed someone you didn’t like? no

Slept in until 5 PM? yes

Fallen asleep at work/school? yes

Held a turantula? no

Wished you were someone else? yes

Ran a red light? yes

Been suspended from school? no

Been expelled from school? no

Smoked in a bathroom? no

Totalled your car/motorbike in an accident? no

Been fired from a job? no

Sang karaoke? yes

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? yes

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? yes

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes

Kissed in the rain? yes

Sang in the shower? yes

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? no

Broken a bone? yes

Shaved your head? no

Blacked out from drinking? no

Felt like killing someone? yes

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? yes

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? no

Been in a band? no

Shot a gun? no

Donated blood? no

Eaten Kangaroo meat? no

Eaten cheesecake? yes

Still love someone you shouldn’t? no

Think about the future? yes

Believe in love? yes

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? yes

Think this is stupid? yes

I finished mine off with, “Who comes up with these lists? I’m sure we could think of more interesting questions…”

And then Alison said, “Yeah, aren’t these supposed to be provocative and intriguing so that we wonder why you answered the way you did? I gotta say, I don’t wonder at all. We should come up with one of our own!”

And then Madhousewife said, “Well, I’m a little curious about how you made someone cry. Unless it was Chuck, in which case I don’t want to know. :P”

And I said, “Oh I made all the boys cry.” and “I agree, Alison. Get on that, will you?”

And then Alison said, “I’m on it.”

And then some guy I used to date said, “Bythelbs made me cry!”

And then I said, “Good, now I can check you off my list!”

And then he said, “Wow!  You have a list of people you want to make cry!”

And then I said, “Yeah, a list of one!”

But I digress.

That Alison is a woman of her word.

She’s already got a decent start on the new and improved, latest and greatest, hopefully-not-quite-so-annoying and pointlessly lameoid Facebook meme, but I’m going to enlist your help over here as well.  They’ve got a lot of open-ended questions over there, but I have to tell you, I kind of like the Yes or No thing.  I like being left to go “Hmmm…”.  I want to want more of the story.  I want a certain degree of ambiguity so I can interpret the answers to my greatest amusement.  So I’m going to ask for the Yes or No kind of questions that start with “Have you ever…”

Here are just a few to get you going:

Have you ever…

had a secret admirer?

been a secret admirer?

secretly wished you had a secret admirer who wasn’t so very good at keeping secrets?

had someone tell your secret after they promised not to?

told someone else’s secret after you promised not to?

rationalized away the telling of a secret because you didn’t receive explicit instructions to keep the information secret even though it was almost certainly an implied secret?

assumed and then made an a$$ out of you and me?

written an angry letter that you never sent?

written an angry letter that you never planned to send, but then a “friend” decided to send it for you even though they knew you had no such intention to do so yourself?

pretended to not be home when someone you knew was at the door?

pretended to not be home when the someone you knew who was at the door was a member of your family and was just locked out?

ever cut your toenails and then shoved the clippings under the couch?

ever cut your toenails and then shoved the clippings under the couch and then spent the next 15 years denying it whenever your spouse brought it up?

drunk the juice from the pickle jar?

drunk the juice from the pickle jar through a straw?

 

And then here’s a couple just to separate out the freaks:

knowingly and/or willingly eaten a raisin?

knowingly and/or willingly eaten a raisin and enjoyed it?

 

So come on now, help some sisters out.  What does your inquiring mind want to know?

P.S.  Obviously, none of these come from personal experience.  Just throwing random stuff out there.

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28 Responses to “Of memes and lameness”

  1. Evitafjord February 16, 2009 at 3:58 pm #

    Great idea. Once you post it on FB, you should time it to see how long it takes to get to someone unrelated to you. I’ll let you know when it gets to me. Even better would be if it made it into pop culture like the 25 things list, which I saw somewhere this week – I think on Scrubs??

    Have you ever been a part of pop culture?

    Have you ever wanted to be a part of pop culture?

    Have you ever been the answer to a trivia question?

  2. Mother of the Wild Boys February 16, 2009 at 4:07 pm #

    I willingly eat raisins AND enjoy them! 🙂 ha ha ha

  3. tawnya February 16, 2009 at 4:50 pm #

    Have you ever
    …read someone’s journal?
    …stalked someone?
    …told someone someone else was gay so they would lose interest / not ask them out and you could keep them all to yourself?
    …faked cramps to get out of cooking dinner?

  4. bythelbs February 16, 2009 at 4:57 pm #

    Evita—Good frick, I love Scrubs. At this point, my #1 goal in life is to have my 15 minutes of anonymous FB fame (I’ve already promised all the glory to Alison) with the original distribution of a popular FB meme. Thank you for your support.

    Mother—Puffy Cheetos AND raisins! You’re making this very difficult for me.

    Tawnya—Perfect. I like the way you think. You totally get where I’m coming from and what I’m looking for.

  5. shazza February 16, 2009 at 5:40 pm #

    Ohhh…I can’t think of any questions right now but I totally can’t wait to do it once the list is complete. I’m with you, I like questions that make me go “what the what..???” Like Tawnya’s above gay question. What? And was the journal you read mine?????

  6. tawnya February 16, 2009 at 5:58 pm #

    Ooooooh, Shaz. You HAVE a journal? Clearly an opportunity missed…(kidding!).

  7. Julie February 16, 2009 at 6:03 pm #

    I will personally tag all (or at least several) of my Facebook friends. That alone will surely rocket you to anonymous Facebook fame.
    How about Have you ever been an arrogant freakwad?
    And I heart raisins.

  8. bythelbs February 16, 2009 at 6:09 pm #

    shazza—I’ll keep you posted. And “what the what..???” is exactly what we’re going for.

    Julie—Another raisin lover?! But then, you also like puffy cheetos, don’t you? I’m seeing a trend here. I like the “arrogant freakwad” one. It’s totally going on the list.

  9. cheryl February 16, 2009 at 6:37 pm #

    Have you…

    …ever grown marijuana in your backyard without knowing it?

    …seen a piece of garbage, and like your children would, just threw it behind/under the couch?

    …ever congratulated yourself on being such a compassionate and non-judgemental person, only to later find out that you had, in fact, been the biggest judgemental idiot of your life, and, with this insight (and after playing back the conversation in your mind over and over and over) did you realize you had stuck your foot in your mouth over and over and over again but the person was actually –in fact! –the non-judgemental person you thought you had been and not once called you on it, nor later held you to it, nor changed their high opinion of you because of it?

    And I’m like mother. I love raisins. And all forms of Cheetos. The only things I don’t like are soggy bread and celery. And oh, sure, there are other things I prefer, but nothing I really loathe. I think. Maybe. I’m sure if I had long enough to think about it, I would totally find something to hate…

  10. Boquinha February 16, 2009 at 7:14 pm #

    9 comments and no one wonders even a little bit about the pickle juice question? TWO of them?? What the what indeed. Seriously, pickles juice and ANY form of Cheetos? Lbs, you and I have “crazy” in common when it comes to finding lost items. But food tastes we do not share. With a STRAW?!?! Are you KIDDING?!?!

  11. tawnya February 16, 2009 at 7:18 pm #

    1. LOVE raisins
    2. HATE puffy cheetos
    3. I didn’t question the pickle juice because I had raised my hand instead…

  12. amanda d February 16, 2009 at 7:45 pm #

    I’m also a raisin and puffy cheetos lover. Not together though.
    Looking forward to an interesting meme with some different questions on it. They all ask if you ever caught a snowflake on your tongue.

  13. Alison Wonderland February 16, 2009 at 9:54 pm #

    How do you even know if you caught a snowflake on your tongue? It’s not like you can actually taste a single snowflake, it just tastes cold (I know cold isn’t a taste but I’m sticking with it) and the air must be cold if there are snowflakes and well, you know where I’m going with this.

    Have you ever pretended you didn’t see your kids do something that you’ve asked them repeatedly not to do (read threatened their lives if they did it again) just so that you wouldn’t have to wring their scrawny little necks because you were just too tired?

    Have you ever seen enough blood to make you a little lightheaded?

  14. bythelbs February 16, 2009 at 10:48 pm #

    Just to clarify, these things are not necessarily about me. I have never drunk pickle juice. Not from a jar. Not from a straw. I may know someone who has, but it has never been, nor ever will be, me.

  15. bythelbs February 16, 2009 at 10:51 pm #

    But it’s totally cool with me if tawnya has.

  16. bythelbs February 16, 2009 at 10:57 pm #

    E tu, Tawnya? Actually, you’ve won me back over with the puffy hate.

    amanda—I choose to embrace our differences. 🙂 You can be the puffy yin to my crunchy yang. Um, did that sound kind of wrong to anyone else?

    Alison—Can’t you watch the snowflake hit your tongue? And I would have to say yes to the first and no to the second.

    Where the frick did all these raisin lovers come from?

    Boquinha—I would have to say yes to 9 of those and no to 8. When I said none of these come from personal experience, I really meant not all of these come from personal experience. 😉

  17. flip flop mama February 17, 2009 at 8:42 am #

    Raisins are gross and pickles too.

    That’s all I have to contribute today.

  18. Susan M February 17, 2009 at 10:13 am #

    Have you ever…

    …accidentally stolen something?

    …jumped on stage and danced during a concert?

    …driven around in your car for an hour just to avoid people?

    …seen a woman walking down a city street whose wrap-around skirt was coming loose, so you could see her behind, and not done anything?

    …been spit on while standing on a street corner?

    …spit on someone while walking past on a street corner?

    Cheryl’s accidentally growing marijuana is so funny.

  19. tawnya February 17, 2009 at 11:45 am #

    Have you ever…
    …purposely given wrong answers / lies to a meme just to get a rise out of someone?

  20. bythelbs February 17, 2009 at 11:57 am #

    Flip—Yesss! A fellow raisin hater! Finally, some sanity.

    Susan—Those are good!

    Tawnya—Frick yes.

  21. Julie February 17, 2009 at 12:47 pm #

    Loved Susan’s. I have accidentally stolen something.

    I do not love puffy cheetos…much. In a pinch, though, they’ll totally do.

    And how on earth can you NOT love pickles?

  22. madhousewife February 17, 2009 at 12:54 pm #

    I’d give you suggestions, but I’ve all out of creativity. I am a soulless drone today.

  23. Evitafjord February 17, 2009 at 1:03 pm #

    Have you ever fall for the spiel of a door-to-door salesperson, even though you totally never do that kind of thing, only to find out that the product could be purchased at the Dollar Tree?

  24. Evitafjord February 17, 2009 at 1:08 pm #

    Have you ever posted a comment with bad grammar and/or spelling, even though bad grammar is probably your biggest pet peeve? sheesh.

    fallen, fallen, fallen.

  25. bythelbs February 17, 2009 at 1:21 pm #

    Julie—I’ve accidentally stolen something, too. More than once! I heart pickles. Dill, not sweet. Sweet=gross. Not raisin gross, but not good.

    Mad—Sorry, man. Hope you find your soul soon.

    Evita—That’s fantastic. And yeah, I do that second one all the time. I hate it when that happens!

  26. Evitafjord February 17, 2009 at 2:31 pm #

    Oh, no – it wasn’t Fantastik, but it was Totally Awesome. LA’s Totally Awesome. And it totally did take permanent marker off my desk. Then again, so did the Fantastik. But neither took it off the bathroom door. Just goes to show you, timing is everything. If he’d shown up before the little monkey started his coloring phase, things would have been very different indeed.

    Now I’m hiding from my folly by immersing myself in blogs. And bad grammer.

  27. flip flop mama February 17, 2009 at 4:48 pm #

    I knew we were kindred spirits.

  28. Julie February 21, 2009 at 10:56 pm #

    “Hope you find your soul soon”

    Laughing out loud right now. It’s so….Better Off Dead to me. Or maybe Napoleon Dynamite? Whatever, I’m giggling.

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