Freaked out Friday

13 Mar

I had this crazy, cra-zee, freakish dream earlier this week.   I was going to post it before, but then there was all that other business to take care of, and, of course, Mr. Norris’ birthday.

It was one of those dreams where you wake up with that sickish feeling that comes from being scared out of your wits, followed by utter relief that it never actually happened, followed by the thought, “What have I been smokin’?”

So I was outside of my house, but it wasn’t my house, but it was.  I lived on a street with houses on one side and a fence on the other, which is totally not like where I actually live, which just has houses EVERYWHERE.



My Dad was there, and he wanted to borrow my bike.  It was an electric blue mountain bike.  I have never owned a bike that was either of the electric blue or mountain variety.  He didn’t care for my seat, and decided to swap it out for his more comfortable one.  Why he had his comfy bicycle seat and not a bike to ride on it with, I have no idea.  I reminded him that he needed a helmet, which kind of annoyed him.  He put it on, but refused to buckle the strap.  I thought, “What good is a helmet if it’s not properly and securely fastened?”  But he was a grown man, so I just let it go.


Then I looked across the street and saw Madhousewife all hooked up and ready to go hang gliding.  I noticed she was wearing a helmet, and hoped that she had at least bothered to properly secure and fasten the strap.  Her glider was being towed by a truck or something to get it off the ground.  When she was up in the air, the tow line dropped.  For about two seconds I thought things were going great. 


But then the glider went into a nosedive!  Mad hit the pavement head first, but before her body or feet even touched the ground, she immediately sprung 30 feet back into the air and over the fence that was across the street from my house!


I couldn’t believe my eyes!  “Maaaaaaaaaaaaad!”, I screamed.  Then I handed off BigHugs (who for some reason was suddenly with me and also only 1 year old) to my younger sister (who was also suddenly there) and then yelled to my older sister (again, just popped up) to call 911.  I was screaming, “Call 911!  Call 911!”, but my sister just kind of stood there with her arms crossed looking annoyed.


I ran down to the next street over to see if I could find Mad on the other side of the fence in one of the neighbors backyards.  I frantically looked everywhere, but she was nowhere to be seen.  I kept wondering why there weren’t any sirens or emergency personnel around.  I looked and looked some more, but there was no evidence of her anywhere.  I ran back to my house to see if the police and ambulance had shown up yet, and when I walked inside I saw BigHugs passed out on my younger sister’s lap who complained, “She cried herself to sleep”.  And then I looked over and saw Mad sitting at the table all fine and dandy while I stood there trying to catch my breath.

“Are you okay?!  I saw you crash!” I panted.

And Mad said very casually, “Yeah, that was kind of messed up.”

And then I woke up.

So, Mad, for my peace of mind, could you please refrain from hang gliding?  But if you must go, make sure you wear a helmet that is properly and securely fastened.  And if you should crash and then spring 30 feet back up into the air and land on the other side of a fence somewhere out of sight, do me a favor and come find me before you go home, so I’ll know I can stop looking and worrying.  Please.

What have you been dreaming about?  Go check out Cheryl’s wackadoo dream.


20 Responses to “Freaked out Friday”

  1. cheryl March 13, 2009 at 3:20 pm #

    Holy cow! Yours was way crazier than mine. And it included illustrations! Amazing illustrations!

    Loved it. Please have more crazy dreams so you can do this again. But not ones that make you wake up in a panic and wonder if they were true. Just wake up knowing they aren’t true…

  2. Kamilli Vanilli March 13, 2009 at 4:00 pm #

    Love the drawings. They add soooo much to the story. They really make it REAL. I can totally imagine it now.

    I have had 2 dreams this week about me and/or my husband being mauled by a grizzly bear. TWO! I think it is a sign. I woke up completely terrified, my heart racing. I am never going camping again!

  3. foofer March 13, 2009 at 4:17 pm #

    This dream was even freakier than the one you had where aliens had invaded earth, and all dad would do was make Kool-aid and tell you not to worry about it. What did you eat before bed?

    Love the illustrations, by the way.

    I like the fact that I’m the helpful sister in the dream 🙂

  4. Julie March 13, 2009 at 4:39 pm #

    The illustrations are just so useful. I especially love your self portrait.

    My dream last night was that my dad and I got in a huge fight because he wouldn’t admit he was wrong even though it was totally obvious that he was. Which may or may not be too far from the truth…

  5. E March 14, 2009 at 10:12 am #

    I love the pictures!

    And I totally get that feeling. I had a dream that Alison was going to die the other day and I did not think I could possibly live through the pain. Fortunately, I have only had to experience such things in dreams.

  6. madhousewife March 14, 2009 at 11:13 am #

    LOL squared! Cubed! I was laughing so hard that the kids had to come see what was wrong with me!

    I hereby promise you that I will never go hang-gliding.

  7. madhousewife March 14, 2009 at 11:32 am #

    I forgot to tell you my dream. I had a lot of dreams last night, but the one I remember is that I was going to the prom with this guy I had a big crush on when I was in the singles’ ward. What’s funny is that I’m pretty sure I was 37 in the dream, like I had kids and everything–though SD was nowhere in the picture–but I did look a lot younger, and my figure was a lot more impressive. My singles-ward-crush guy was definitely NOT 37 because he still had all his hair and looked hot. (He’s bald and married now, but that’s neither here nor there.)

    Anyway, I was so excited to go to the prom with him, and he was supposed to pick me up at 7, but when he got there, I wasn’t ready yet, so he actually helped me put on my make-up, which I thought was weird, but he was surprisingly good at it. Anyway, we finally left for the prom, which was at this weird hotel where the entire bottom floor was a giant wading pool, and people were swimming in their prom clothes, but I didn’t want to get mine wet. You were there, and I think Cheryl and some other people I can’t remember were also, and you complimented my date on his jaunty cap.

    While we were on the pool floor, one of your friends I didn’t know grabbed you by the ankles and swung you around and flung you in the pool. I thought that was mean of her, but I couldn’t help thinking, “Dang, that girl’s strong if she can swing around a grown woman like that.” You were a little put out about getting all wet, but fortunately you weren’t wearing a very fancy dress because this was, like, your 14th prom, and it just wasn’t that big a deal anymore. Also, you were married and everything. (Don’t know where Chuck was in all this. You seemed to have attended stag with your other girlfriends.)

    Anyway, we all hung out for a while, and then it was time to go home, but first I asked my date if we could dance first, and he said no, he had to go to work early the next day. Well, that awesome impression he made with his cosmetic-desk skillz was all washed away with that one. I think eventually he agreed to dance with me, but only briefly. I don’t remember anything else, except that at one point I accidentally called him “sweetie,” much to my chagrin, and he responded by calling me “Sass.” Kind of an odd term of endearment, but I could tell he meant it affectionately.

    I have to say, though, I’m really glad I didn’t marry him. That no-dancing-’cause-I-have-to-get-up-early-for-work business was lame.

    Okay, how long and boring was that dream? Maybe you could illustrate it for me and add to its entertainment value.

  8. madhousewife March 14, 2009 at 11:33 am #

    Oh my, that dream was even longer and boring-er than I thought it would be. Sorry! I should have just blogged it and bored my own readers.

  9. boquinha March 14, 2009 at 3:43 pm #

    I *love* the illustrations. I would TOTALLY welcome those again. LOVE them.

  10. Patience March 14, 2009 at 4:44 pm #

    I love the diagrams too. So helpful. 🙂 I hate it when I have scary dreams. Sometimes they’re scary enough to ruin my entire day after.

  11. Susan M March 14, 2009 at 7:00 pm #

    Best dream post ever!

  12. Alison Wonderland March 14, 2009 at 9:04 pm #

    The illustrations were perfect!!!!

    I have weird dreams like that when I’m pregnant but not usually other times. I’m just sayin…

  13. bythelbs March 14, 2009 at 9:43 pm #


    Shut it, Alison. Just sayin’.

    Thanks for the props on the illustrations, everyone. Obviously, that Drawing 101 class at BYU totally paid off. But good thing there were no naked people in my dream because we totally didn’t cover that.

    Mad, I enjoyed hearing your dream. And I think Sass is kind of a sweet term of endearment.

  14. Mother of the Wild Boys March 15, 2009 at 1:49 pm #

    OMGosh, I totally loved that! Your illustrations rocketh. 🙂 Now I know how you get so funny…it just comes to you in your dreams.

    And Sass, I mean Mad, your dream was funny too. I always have dreams about returning to high school. Sometimes I’m old (like now) and sometimes I have my high school body back…that’s the best part of those dreams. Ahh, I miss you, dear skinny-high-school-body. 😉

  15. Mother of the Wild Boys March 15, 2009 at 1:51 pm #

    PS- This week I dreamed about a past boyfriend, and then (in real life) we chatted on Facebook that day. Weird coincidence, huh?

  16. foofer March 16, 2009 at 6:36 am #

    “…but fortunately you weren’t wearing a very fancy dress because this was, like, your 14th prom, and it just wasn’t that big a deal anymore.”

    In real life, I believe bythelbs attended FOUR proms (three in junior year), but this offhand remark made me laugh out loud.

    It’s amazing how many people become “freakishly strong” in our dreams, huh?

    I have way too many bizarre dreams to share them here. Maybe I should start a bizarre dreams blog? I remember one of them involved Sylvester Stallone driving a bus through a Burger King drive-thru (not into it, but as if he were going to order a whopper with fries) so that he could have a wound tended to because the guy at the window was a secret agent medic.

  17. madhousewife March 16, 2009 at 8:37 am #

    foofer – LOL at Sylvester Stallone dream. You should start a bizarre dreams blog–but only if you illustrate it!

  18. Flip flop mama March 17, 2009 at 3:06 am #

    That was a hilarious dream! Well I’m sure not hilarious to you thinking something happened to Mad but it makes a great post – especially with the illustrations. But I have to say your self portrait looks like you have a beard. 🙂

  19. thewoobdog March 17, 2009 at 6:14 am #


    Loved the illustrations.

    Must catch up on my blog-reading… this is the first one of yours I’ve read in FOREVER!!!!!!! 😦 I miss you… *sniff* I know, I know – I’m the one who’s being distant… *sniff* I must make more time for our relationship… realign my priorities…



  1. This week in review « By the lbs - September 17, 2010

    […] had the most disturbing dreams last night.  Like disturbing.  Illustrations are completely out of the […]

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