Wacky Search Term Wednesday

3 Jun

You know, every time I set out to do a WSTW post I’ve got to ask myself one question, “Do I feel funny?  Well, do ya, punk?”  And lately, the answer has always been no, hence the WSTW special match’em up game edition for which Julie totally called me out.  Yeah, I tried to put the focus on you under the guise of a party game so as to draw attention away from the fact that I believe I may have, in fact, lost my WST mojo.  But when you fall off that blogging gimmick, you’ve just got to get back on it and try again, face your fears, blah, blah, blah. Plus, really, this isn’t about me, it’s about the freaks.  We’d all do well to keep that in mind.

dress unassertive party—First, let me say there’s nothing worse than a vague party invitation.  What does this mean?  Is this the new casual?  So jeans and t-shirts?  Are we talking sweats here?  Or is it more of a formal affair?  Maybe an ugly cocktail dress that makes you feel all frumpy and nonexistant-like?  Party planners take note: a good host does everything possible to make their guests feel welcome and at ease, including providing clear instructions for how guests are expected to dress.  Sheesh.

bday cake 2 years old—Dude, don’t eat that.  I don’t care how good it is.  Or was.  I don’t care if it was iced with (or by) frickin’ Chuck Norris.  Just throw it out.

imagen de guacamole—Oh, I’m imagening, baby. I’m imagening my butt off.  Well, more like my butt on.  Dang guacamole and it’s fat/calorie-laden goodness!  But oh, hohoho…

pulling a jeans—You know how when one of your friends does something lame or stupid and you kind of all dub that act as “pulling a (insert friend’s name here)”?  I’m trying to imagine what these poor jeans could have done to warrant such razzing.  And also who else you would apply the expression to.  “Oh (insert eye roll here), there’s shorts pulling a jeans again.”  Are the shorts then offended?

none taken meaning—I think it’s something like, “#$!*% you!”

scummed pencil—Are you looking for one or trying to find a way to descum yours?  Pencils are cheap, man.  Just chuck it.  No pencil could be worth the trouble.

paper towels+vince offer—I have no idea where this is going, but I’m intrigued.  Heaven knows I love me some paper towels.  Is Vince going to make me an offer I can’t refuse?

what if you knew you were going to die?—Are you threatening me, Vince?  Let this be a lesson to you all.  Think twice before accepting any offers from a guy named Vince, no matter how tempting, no matter what the stakes.  Yes, even when there’s paper towels on the line.

cheetos in burning car—Get them out, man!  For the love of Chester, get them out!  Wait, are we talkin’ crunchy or puffs?  (*bonus feature alternative commentary:  Please, Vince, not the cheetos!  They’re innocent!  They haven’t done anything wrong!  They haven’t hurt anyone!  It’s me you want!  I’ll do whatever you want, just please leave the cheetos alone!)

necessities of life—Save the cheetos!

stalkery update and feelings—I so wish I could think of something funny to say right now.

to have a pancake on one’s head—How does it feel, Susan?

diaper taking out the trash—Now this I’d like to see.

fall out with your husband stick flip fl—(ops in toilet).  Now that’s a little childish, isn’t it?  Next time, in the heat of the moment, just stop and take a few minutes to think about it before you do anything rash.  I think then you’ll realize the flip flop thing would be a mistake.  Go for the toothbrush.

chuck norris before and after—When you’re talking about a run in with Mr. Norris, it’s probably best not to think about the after.  As for the before, well, maybe it’s best to  just avoid that little sitch-ee-a-shun altogether.

fat kids eating tic tacs—Yeah, I know it says the 1 1/2 calorie breath mint, but let’s not kid ourselves here.  I don’t care what you’ve heard, what someone’s been trying to sell you, Tic Tacs are not the quick fix miracle diet food.  That burning sensation is not doing anything to melt away the pounds, it’s just making your breath cool and minty fresh.  Heaven knows there’s nothing wrong with that, but you’ll never get anywhere until you accept the fact that it’s not about dieting, it’s about lifestyle changes.

what happened to spearmint tic tacs?—Don’t look at me.  Ask the fat kids.

yooyh fairy—“Dude, what happened to all your teeth?”  “Yooyh fairy.”  “Dude.”

sex wivals—No offense, but I’m really not comfortable hearing someone with your kind of speech impediment talking about S-E-X.  It just kind of weirds me out.  So just keep it to yourself, OK?

caption ideas for thinking person—OK, so I am going to put some of this on you.  Here’s a few pictures of some “thinking persons”.  Gimme your captions.

Thinking person #1

thinking person 1

Thinking person #2

thinking person 3

Thinking person #3

thinking person 6

Thinking person #4

thinking person 5

Thinking person #5

thinking twilight

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10 Responses to “Wacky Search Term Wednesday”

  1. Mother of the Wild Boys June 3, 2009 at 11:34 am #

    #1: Pool Reflection Introspection
    #2: Wrinkly Wallpaper Rumination
    #3: Dr. Gorilla-Man Contemplation
    #4: Martial Art Meditation
    #5: UnDead Dream Date Deliberation

  2. Kathy June 3, 2009 at 12:32 pm #

    1. What do ya think? Is this my best side?
    2. When is Biff going to get here.. I’m gonna kiss him.. mmm…
    3. Hmm… Was my tee time 1 or 2?
    4. Omm.. cafe latte mocha… cafe latte mocha… cafe latte mocha… ommmm
    5. Her – I wonder if he can carry me all the way down this mountain.
    Him – Oh crap… Am I going to have to carry her all the way down this mountain.

  3. Janelle June 3, 2009 at 12:47 pm #

    #5 Now how am I going to get this freakin’ make up off my sleeve? Stupid man in make up with spikey gelled hair.

  4. bythelbs June 3, 2009 at 1:02 pm #

    You guys are awesome.

  5. Kamilli Vanilli June 3, 2009 at 1:22 pm #

    1. Veronica sure looks hot in that swimsuit.

    2. Dooo dooo dooo….just act normal….nobody will know it was you….

    3. Hmmmm…Maybe I should order a stool sample for that patient….

    4. Ooh, ow, oh….this hurts like a bugger… Must….keep…back…straight….

    5. How did I get cast in such a stupid movie??

  6. madhousewife June 3, 2009 at 1:43 pm #

    LOL @ Vince and the Cheetos.

    It’s a paper towels + Vince offer. Meaning they’re offering not only paper towels, but Vince besides, as a bonus. “Includes free Vince!” If you’re into that sort of thing.

    #1 – “This sparkly water really sets off my lip gloss.”

    #2 – “Whistling in the dark, whistling in the dark, whistling whistling whistling whistling dark dark dark dark…”

    #3 – “I’m not really a doctor. I’m just a hot guy dressed up like a doctor. Only I’m really not actually that hot. I just think I’m hot. And a doctor.”

    #4 – “I should not have eaten that two-year-old cake.”

    #5 – I don’t know, but they both look undead in that picture.

  7. shazza June 3, 2009 at 1:52 pm #

    Wow, a TMBG reference. I bow to you…

  8. Alison Wonderland June 4, 2009 at 4:50 am #

    I read this post, every word.

    I even laughed some too.

  9. boquinha June 4, 2009 at 8:14 pm #

    #1. I am so peeing in this pool right now.

  10. Susan M June 6, 2009 at 6:56 am #

    #1 – I wish I was built like Chuck Norris.

    #2 – They’ll think I’m whistling. They won’t know I’m waiting for Chuck Norris to come along.

    #3 – What would happen if I tried to blow dry my hair while cleaning my ear with a qtip?

    #4 – Feel like Chuck Norris. Be like Chuck Norris.

    #5 (Bella) – I bet Chuck Norris could kick his ass.

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