Oh Dear

10 Jun

Dear Mr. T’s Social Studies Teacher,

I would just like to thank you for giving Mr. T the opportunity of repeating a homework assignment you somehow misplaced.  It was totally cool of you to give him a chance to make up that assignment he had already completed.  Unfortunately, Mr. T was so busy working on the major project you assigned for the last week of school, that he didn’t have time to do that other assignment.  AGAIN.  So I did it.  So there.  Pppbbbtt.

Sincerely,

Bythelbs (aka Big Fat Cheater Pants Mom)

 

Dear Yellow YMCA Shirt Lady,

No offense, but what kind of inconsiderate idiot chooses the elementary school drop-off lane to put sunscreen on her child and then spends the next several moments rubbing the excess sunscreen all over herself before getting back in her car and finally, mercifully driving away?  It’s the fracking drop-off lane!  Watch the hail!*

Sincerely,

Bythelbs (aka Big Fat Raging Pants Mom)

 

Dear BigHugs,

OK, I get that you find the image of me in my underwear disgustin’.  You really don’t need to say so every time you see me in such a state of undress.  I get it.  Disgustin’.  Totawee disgustin’.  Message received.  And noted.

Sincerely,

Mom (aka Big Fat Under Pants Mom)

 

Dear Gerard Butler,

I had the pleasure of watching your film P.S. I Love You last night, in which you were magically delicious.  Thank you.  For being delicious.  Magically.  So magically.

Sincerely,

Bythelbs (aka Not-so-very-Big-or-Fat Smokin’ Hot Mom…with pants.  Hot pants.  Well, not literally hot pants.  Never mind.)

 

 

*Told you, Tawnya.

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12 Responses to “Oh Dear”

  1. Kamilli Vanilli June 10, 2009 at 12:48 pm #

    Love it!

  2. tawnya June 10, 2009 at 12:58 pm #

    Ha! I never doubted…

    (PS I Love You. Oh, how I love that movie…)

  3. Mother of the Wild Boys June 10, 2009 at 2:11 pm #

    😆

  4. madhousewife June 10, 2009 at 2:11 pm #

    There is no end of nefarious ne’er-do-welling in school drop-off lanes!

    Mr. T’s social studies teacher sounds like a jerk. Haven’t we heard about him/her before?

    I don’t even know who Gerard Butler is. I had to Google him. And I still don’t know who he is, except that he’s been in a bunch of movies I haven’t seen.

  5. flip flop mama June 10, 2009 at 2:18 pm #

    Love this post!

  6. Julie June 10, 2009 at 3:01 pm #

    I’ve never had the pleasure of watching Mr. Butler in action, but I do find him magically babelicious.

  7. Susan M June 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm #

    Ha. For some reason I thought you were talking about Gerard Depardieu. Very different.

  8. Alison Wonderland June 10, 2009 at 10:09 pm #

    I can’t say that I’m necessarily a huge fan. But yes, he is magically delicious.

  9. bythelbs June 10, 2009 at 10:24 pm #

    I’m pretty sure I only know him from this movie. But it worked for me.

  10. Mother of the Wild Boys June 11, 2009 at 1:41 pm #

    Mr. Butler is especially delicious…especially in that movie!

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