36 Random Facts about Me

9 Dec

1.  The other day, as I was eating Triscuit Thin Crisps, I thought to myself, “This is a three-sided biscuit!  No wonder they’re called Triscuits!  Duh!”  Two days later, as I was eating original triscuits, I thought to myself, “This is a four-sided biscuit!  The original Triscuits were four-sided!  Why the frick are they called Triscuits?!”

2. Sometimes I think I say frick too much.  And then I think, “Who the frick cares?”

3. I have children who do things like make hats out of empty Pop-Tart boxes.

4. I have no ambition.  Sometimes I think I’d like to have some, but then it seems like too much work.

5. Sometimes I go to bed without brushing my teeth.  I always regret it in the morning.

6. I went my entire freshman year of college without kissing anyone.  I thought that was pretty lame at the time.  Actually, I still think it’s pretty lame. 

7. I prefer chocolate shakes, unless there is fry-dipping involved, in which case, I think strawberry is best.  But chocolate will always do.

8. I don’t think that a pap smear is a very good Christmas present.

9. I need braces.  I’m still trying to decide if I’m vain enough to make it worth the hassle.  I’ve had friends tell me my spaces are “charming”.

10. I think sometimes lying friends are the best kind.

11. Bedtime stories are most fun when you read them with ridiculous voices.  Sometimes my children enjoy the ridiculous voices, sometimes they do not.  I’m always a little disappointed when they insist on my using a normal voice.

12. When BigHugs was born, a friend from church dropped off a baby gift on my porch.  It was in a battered bag, all creased and worn, held together with tape, and adorned with an odd assortment of ribbons and bows.  An odd assortment.  My oldest sister and I now use the gift bag to exchange birthday presents.  Every birthday we add another ribbon.

13. I have little confidence that I’ll be able to come up with 36 random things about me.

14. This morning I spent 45 minutes cleaning up the playroom for the children I’m babysitting.  It was trashed in 1.5 minutes.  I was fully anticipating this, so I am not annoyed.  Much.

15. I am more concerned with not looking especially stupid than with looking especially smart.

16. I never want to hear this song again.  Ever.

17. This was my 36th blog post.

18. There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, and it’s a pity mine do nothing to alleviate this situation.

19. New age music really creeps me out.  A lot.  Like A LOT a lot.

20. I’ve been working on this post for an hour now.  See #13.

21. A while back I got a Facebook friend request from this guy.  I have no idea who he is, but I liked his profile picture so much that I saved it. He’s British.  Sometimes I wonder if that’s creepy.  (That I saved the picture, not that he’s British.  Maybe the fact that he’s British makes it less creepy.  Or more.)

22. I won’t eat food that my children have bitten unless I can cut off the bite marks.  You can’t cut the bite marks off jello, so I never finish their jello.

23. I pour small bowls of cereal and then shovel it down my throat as fast as I can to avoid the soggies.  I can’t abide the soggies.  No sir. My husband, on the other hand, will pour the milk on his cereal, tap it all down to make sure every last square mm is covered and then walk away to do something else and then come back and eat it.  I can’t watch him eat his cereal.

24. These are two words I have written down on a piece of scratch paper next to my computer to help me remember posts I want to do: caboose, cyborg.  I now have no idea what I was thinking, even though I’m pretty sure I just wrote them down like two days ago.

25. Years ago I threw away a couple of baby pictures of an old boyfriend when I lost track of him.  We’re Facebook friends now, and I have a lot of guilt about the pictures. 

26. I regularly incorporate random movie quotes into my conversations.

27. I will not drink the milk at the bottom of the carton, regardless of when it was opened.  I will either pour it out and open a new carton or leave it for my husband to drink.

28. I’m pretty sure when I’m 90 years old, I’ll still be saying dude.  At least I hope so.

29. I’ve recently taken to curling my eyelashes because a few weeks ago a friend of mine (who is always beautiful) happened to mention that her eyelash curler is her #1 essential tool in her beauty kit.  I’ve had an eyelash curler for years, but have never used it before now.  I’m pretending like it’s doing something for me.

30. This does nothing for me.  But then, neither does this.

31. Sometimes when I’m in Goose’s classroom helping kids with their math, I get so frustrated I could slap them.

32. Good thing I have supernatural impulse control powers.  Like Bella.

33. I’m kind of embarrased that I’ve already made two Twilight references.  Make that three.

34. If I were a tree, I’d be an avocado tree.

35. I’m becoming less and less concerned with #15.  Obviously.

36. I have some of the best friends a woman could ever ask or hope for.  Thank you!  I love you guys!

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22 Responses to “36 Random Facts about Me”

  1. Julie December 9, 2009 at 3:28 pm #

    That picture of Jacob kind of looks like a creepy David Archiletta on steroids.

    26 is a LOT of random things to state about oneself.

    • bythelbs December 9, 2009 at 3:39 pm #

      Julie, it’s 36 and it is a LOT and are you trying to say I’m OLD??

  2. Migillicutty December 9, 2009 at 4:52 pm #

    Hey….. how old are you today?

  3. shazza December 9, 2009 at 4:54 pm #

    1. My boys love to quote the conversation from Friends about Triscadecaphobia being fear of Triscuits. I hate triscuits.
    2. Frick no you don’t!!
    7. I prefer frosties for fry-dipping, especially if I alternate with ketchup. Mmmm….now i want fries.
    12. That is awesome.
    15. Trying not to look stupid is my Prime Directive.
    16. Me.Too.
    18. I should probably never admit to seeing that movie more times than I can count.
    26. I regularly converse totally in Friends quotes, thus contradicting my #15.
    27. I can’t eat the last bite of anything you hold in your hands to eat.
    30. A good example of why I love ya!

    Hope you had a fabulous day!!

    • bythelbs December 9, 2009 at 5:21 pm #

      All good examples of why I love ya!

  4. Mother of the Wild Boys December 9, 2009 at 5:09 pm #

    Happy Birthday bythelbs!!!!!
    And I think you are charming in every way. 🙂

    • bythelbs December 9, 2009 at 5:22 pm #

      Thanks, and you’re totally not one of my lying friends, right? 😉

  5. Kamilli Vanilli December 9, 2009 at 5:28 pm #

    I love the pink bag. You so have to tell me who gave that bag to you!

    And Katrina and the Waves can suck it. I don’t want to hear their sappy, feel-good crap either.

    • bythelbs December 9, 2009 at 9:32 pm #

      I don’t want to name names, Kamilli, but her initials are R. T. 😉

  6. foo4luv December 9, 2009 at 7:08 pm #

    I was reading this post out loud with BratzBasher (editing a couple items, like #8), and now she won’t stop singing that song. I only gave her one line of the chorus because there was no way I was listening to it, but she’s taken it and run with it. Just not far enough away. I want to see that bag when I come visit for Christmas. That is so awesome.

    Hippy Barfday! No, wait. That sounds like something you put on a greeting card for bulimics.

    Harpy Biffday! Not that I’m implying you’re a winged menace, or anything. I just didn’t feel like saying Happy Birthday like a normal person.

    I’ll bring your present when I come for Christmas. Because I’m that lame.

  7. BratzBasher December 9, 2009 at 7:13 pm #

    HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY.

    I totally agree that it’s just sick and wrong to eat the soggy bits of cereal. It’s all right if they’re a little bit soggy, but it’s best if they’re crunchy and a little wet. I do agree that it’s just wrong for Uncle Chuck to just leave the cereal. It’s just blech.

    Plus, I do not like Twilight, either. I do believe Edward is a jerk. And so are all vampires and werewolves, and so is Bella. I have no idea why they even invented the dumb thing. I’m already sick and tired of everyone going, “Oh, Edward!” Bleh.

    Okay, I’m done now.

  8. foo4luv December 9, 2009 at 7:18 pm #

    As you can see, BB feels very strongly about things. I thought, as a Buffy fan, you might enjoy the following link:

    Consider it a gift! A birthday gift! (j/k – I’m not that lame.)

    • bythelbs December 9, 2009 at 9:34 pm #

      Thanks, Foo. And it’s totally not lame to bring the present with. That is exactly what I would do. I’ve seen that youtube and it is AWESOME.

      BB—I actually enjoy the fluffy read of the Twilight books, and I find the movies entertaining in unintentional ways, but I do not understand the fan FRENZY at all. You are a very wise and sensible girl. I look forward to seeing you in a few weeks!

  9. Amanda D December 10, 2009 at 8:29 am #

    I hope you had a fan-tab-u-lous birthday!
    Loving your facts.
    I’m the same with the milk at the bottom of the jug. I just never realized it until I read it on your post. I do however eat my cereal with lots of milk and don’t mind if it gets soggy.
    Glad to hear that you are not into 17 year old boys. Thank goodness.

  10. madhousewife December 10, 2009 at 9:42 am #

    Well, how much do I suck? I missed your birthday post. Don’t answer my question, by the way. It was rhetorical.

    3. That picture was very popular with my children.
    6. I went my entire college career without kissing anyone. At the time I thought it was lame, but in retrospect I think it is pretty awesome. I mean, how many people on earth can say that? (Especially considering that a lot of people don’t even go to college.)
    9. I’m still trying to decide if I have it in me to do braces, too. No one tells me my teeth are charming.
    16. I was going to hate you for exposing me to this song once again, but then I figured that was my punishment for missing your birthday post.
    23. ::vomiting::
    30. Those both kind of creep me out a little.
    31. This is why I don’t volunteer in my kids’ schools. Okay, so it’s not, at all. I just don’t like helping out. I wouldn’t volunteer in my kids’ schools if you paid me.

    Happy belated birthday blog-greetings!

  11. evitafjord December 10, 2009 at 12:55 pm #

    Happy Birthday!!

    8. How about for Hanukkah? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4jbmAJ44Po

  12. cheryl December 10, 2009 at 2:39 pm #

    You are my hero. In many, many ways.

    Happy Birthday. Again. On the blog this time. A day late.

  13. flip flop mama December 10, 2009 at 3:16 pm #

    Happy Birthday!!

  14. Susan M December 13, 2009 at 10:26 am #

    Oh man, I missed your birthday! I’m so lame. Hope it was a good one!

    About looking stupid…I actually cultivate that. I like to make stupid comments as seriously as I can to see if people take me seriously. The best is when I can trick Daniel.

  15. Patience December 13, 2009 at 6:49 pm #

    Those are entertaining facts. Happy Birthday!

  16. Boquinha December 13, 2009 at 7:09 pm #

    Happy belated birthday!

    Get this. I am SUPER behind on blogs, blog reading, blog posting (you get the idea). But today, my husband says, “Have you read bythelbs’ recent posts?” I answered that I hadn’t read any in a while. He told me that he had some down time today and was reading your blog (I told him long ago about how you and I share quirky things in common and about how your blog is wicked funny) and that you had hilarious stuff on here including this list and Dynagirl’s storyboard story (now, THAT I had seen). So now, hours later, I’m sitting here reading your list and laughing out loud and reading along with my favorites and we’re both cracking up. Thanks for the laughs! 🙂 You. Are. Awesome.

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