Born of awesomeness

13 Jan

I was supposed to volunteer in Goose’s classroom today, but yesterday I was supposed to volunteer in DynaGirl’s classroom, only when I went down there they had a sub who knew not what to do with me, so I headed over to Goose’s classroom instead, and I even told Goose’s teacher that I would plan to be back again tomorrow (today), but today I decided that I had more important things to do than volunteerism and helping to educate the future of America, plus also I didn’t think I was up to a repeat of yesterday’s banging my head against the desk whilst trying to explain how to count money to a third grader. 

Me: How many cents are in a nickel?
Kid I wanted to strangle:Ten?
Me: No, there are ten cents in a dime.
KIWTS:  One? 
Me: No, a penny is one cent. 
KIWTS: Fifteen? 
Me: No.
KIWTS: Six? 
Me: No, there is one cent in a penny, five cents in a nickel, 10 cents in a dime and 25 cents in a quarter. 
KIWTS: Oh yeah.
Me: If there are 5 cents in a nickel, how many cents are in two nickels?
KIWTS: Seven! 
Me: No.
KIWTS: Six?
Repeat for 25 minutes.

So what are my more important things to do?  Apparently, my more important thing to do is sit here.  And do nothing.

I am sitting wearing my watch now restored to its former non-glorious glory.  So that’s nice.  And I also got to eat my chicken pad thai leftover from last night’s GNO birthday club dinner, which happened to be celebrating yours truly.  I’m going to have to tell you more about this birthday club thing.  Because it’s fun-filled awesomeness.

Speaking of fun-filled awesomeness…

Mid-conversation with DynaGirl.

Me: Aren’t I full of awesomeness?

DynaGirl: Yes.  And that means I was born of awesomeness, which makes me the most awesome of all.

Hard to argue with that.

 

At the dinner table.

DynaGirl: Ew, I got gravy on my elbow. Mom, could you get me a napkin?

Goose: Just lick it off.

DynaGirl: I can’t lick my own elbow.  That’s impossible.

Mr. T, in all seriousness: It’s not impossible, but not everybody can do it.  I looked on youtube for instructions how to, and it said if you can’t do it after following the instructions, then you just don’t have that talent. 

Also born of awesomeness.

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8 Responses to “Born of awesomeness”

  1. Migillicutty January 13, 2010 at 3:19 pm #

    I am SSOOO good at commenting first over here!

  2. Migillicutty January 13, 2010 at 3:24 pm #

    And I’m humble, too. 😉

    If everyone can lick their elbow, how come some people don’t have the talent? You have the funniest kids… Congrats on your watch and you pad thai, sorry that volunteering was so bad.

    • bythelbs January 13, 2010 at 4:41 pm #

      Mr. T said not everybody can do it, and he is the expert since he looked it up on youtube and all. 😉

  3. madhousewife January 13, 2010 at 6:01 pm #

    I don’t have that talent.

  4. shazza January 13, 2010 at 7:19 pm #

    awesome funniness all around.

    as for the volunteering…that’s my day. For 6 hours every day. Except with children who don’t speak English very well.

  5. Mother of the Wild Boys January 13, 2010 at 9:17 pm #

    I totally just tried the elbow-licking thing. Now my neck hurts.

  6. kamilli vanilli January 14, 2010 at 8:17 am #

    Yay for the watch find!

    The fruits of your loins are all born of incredible awesomeness. Love that.

    And YES–you should share your birthday extravaganza….complete with photos of gifts received, methinks?

  7. boquinha January 14, 2010 at 1:28 pm #

    Ooooh, loved, loved, loved the dialogue. Thank you for that. It brightened my day.

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