The hard stuff

16 Apr

Yesterday, one of DynaGirl’s classmates called her fat.  DynaGirl has a great sense of humor, even about herself, and can usually brush things off with a joke.  But this one got to her—this one brought her to tears.

I hate this part of parenthood, having to watch my children suffer through regular life crap and not being able to do a thing about it.  I can compliment her, I can reassure her, I can love her, but I can’t unsay what was said and I don’t know how to kill the seed of insecurity before it takes root.

She’s ten.  I’m sure this is only the beginning.

Forget potty-training and middle of the night feedings.  This is the hard stuff.

Mean girls suck.


14 Responses to “The hard stuff”

  1. shazbraz April 16, 2010 at 11:13 am #

    Yup. I’m sorry!!

    There are a couple of kids that keep teasing my daughter, and I have them everyday in a reading group. Very had for me to keep my bear claws put away…

  2. cheryl April 16, 2010 at 12:29 pm #

    Mean girls do suck. I know that feeling all too well –I was bullied a lot in school, too. Hard to believe, what with my mad skillz and sexy looks, but it’s true.

    Tell DynaGirl that Cheryl loves her. And will beat up that classmate if she wants. But fighting isn’t the answer. Unless she really wants me to beat up that kid. Although fighting is wrong!

  3. Flipflopmama April 16, 2010 at 1:15 pm #

    Yes they do.

  4. Amanda D April 16, 2010 at 2:38 pm #

    This is the part of motherhood that stinks.

    Suddenly, my 7-year-old is very worried about whether or not she “looks good” and she wants skim milk so she doesn’t get fat. It scares me that she is worried all ready. It’s too young to think about those things.

    Good luck.

  5. MaryAnn April 16, 2010 at 3:28 pm #

    Awww man – that totally sucks. Whatta little bee-yatch! (Sorry, no other words!) Sending hugs from so cal…

  6. Mother of the Wild Boys April 16, 2010 at 3:42 pm #


  7. Boquinha April 16, 2010 at 7:29 pm #

    Awww, I’m so sorry. That’s horrible. Why are some kids so mean? Ugh.

  8. madhousewife April 16, 2010 at 8:15 pm #

    Tell DynaGirl that Aunt Mad will help Cheryl beat up that classmate, even though it’s wrong. (So wrong it’s right.)

    Seriously, I feel your pain (and DG’s). PZ is going through some similar crap right now. It sucks.

    DG is awesome and beautiful. Tell her I said not to let the bastards get her down. Only, you know, clean it up a little, for her sake.

  9. bythelbs April 16, 2010 at 8:44 pm #

    Shaz—You are a woman of impressive restraint! I would probably kick them under the table and blame it on the kid next to them.

    Cheryl—I heart you.


    Amanda—My 8 year old is the same way. I don’t even want to think about the teen years.

    MaryAnn—Hey, let’s call a spade a spade! 🙂 ((hugs back))

    Mother—Thank you. 🙂

    Boquinha—I even asked her if the girl had said it in a joking/teasing voice (not that that would make it OK, but…) to see if I could spin it a little, but DynaGirl said the girl said it in a serious voice and she didn’t laugh or smile or anything. Boo. 😦

    Mad—Ditto for PZ!

    Thanks everyone. DynaGirl came home happy today and reported that she had a good day at school. It’s such a relief when they’re not all bad days.

    • foo4luv April 18, 2010 at 8:25 pm #

      I cheer inside whenever BB comes home and declares it was a good day.

      • bythelbs April 21, 2010 at 12:00 pm #

        Yeah, DynaGirl goes through good/bad cycles at school, so when she’s in a bad one, I’m always so relieved when she comes home from school happy.

  10. Julie April 18, 2010 at 7:10 pm #

    I’ve been gone and I’m once again a day late and a comment short. Tardiness notwithstanding, my heart aches for DynaGirl and her momma. Words hurt. I’m glad she had a better day today.

  11. merkin4 April 21, 2010 at 9:26 am #

    Wow. I wonder what kind of low-life would make vicious, mean-tempered comments about another person’s size?

    Sucks, doesn’t it?

  12. bythelbs April 21, 2010 at 12:18 pm #

    Julie—She’s rebounded really well. But these kinds of comments tend to stick if you hear them enough over time—that’s what I’m worried about.

    merkin4—Yes, it does. As hard as it is dealing with the hurt feelings, I would much rather have my kid be the bullied than the bullier. I always tell my kids they don’t have to be friends with everyone (because some people are just jerks), but they always have to be kind.

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