Yo, those kicks are streets ahead, Fresh Step

18 Feb

The other day as I was sitting in the hall of BigHugs’ dance studio (the dance studio where BigHugs takes dance, not her personally owned and operated by dance studio), one of the other moms complimented me on my shoes.  Actually, she said something like, “Every time I see you, you have the cutest shoes”, which I dismissed as an obvious hyperbole because I do not, in fact, have an abundance of fabulous footwear.  Perhaps every time she’s seen me I’m wearing that particular pair of shoes, which seems more likely since I am frequently complimented when wearing that particular pair of shoes.

It’s amusing to me that these shoes garner such a steady stream of compliments, considering that they’re actually a cheapy $10 pair of tennies I picked up a couple of summers ago at the Walmart on Maui.  When I was packing up for my long-awaited Hawaii trip, I became quite distressed that I didn’t have any footwear suitable for walking/hiking/exploring the island.  I had cute flips and multiple pairs of wedge sandals, but no stylish-yet-built-for-comfort walking type foot attire.  I searched high and low in the weeks preceding my trip, but came up empty.  It was really quite distressing to me.  So when we arrived on Maui and made a stop at the local Walmart for water and snacks and such (by the way, in case you were wondering, unfortunately a Walmart on Maui is no more fabulous than a mainland Walmart), I decided to take a quick browse through the shoe section just in case.  And I found them.  It was a Maui miracle!

Looking back at my trip pictures, I find it pretty hilarious that I was so concerned with having just the right footwear for my tropical island paradise adventures.

Obviously, this look would have been completely thrown off by the wrong pair of shoes.

Here I am on another day where you get a glimpse of the shoes:

Really, though, when it comes down to it, I’ll take whatever shoe-related compliments I can get because it has always been my dream to be the woman with the cute shoes—an as of yet unfulfilled dream except when wearing my $10 cheap tennies, but still.

You know what else I dream about?  I watch a lot of cop shows, and I’ve always wanted to have a cool street name.  You know, like Wishbone or Ice Bang or Funk Sister.  Well, the other night while I was tucking in Mr. T, I glanced up at his walls adorned with various incarnations of this ad, and it hit me.  Hello—it perfectly combines my dreams of wanting to be known for my fabulous footwear and having a super cool street name!  I can totally see it—I’m strolling through the hood and everywhere I go they’re checking out the shoes and giving me the nods of approval and admiration and some spunky/adorable kid who idolizes me calls out, “Yo, those kicks are streets ahead, Fresh Step!” and I’ll just flash him a smile and/or a double digit “pehce” or some other equally cool and appropriate acknowledgment of mad props.  Sigh.  Perfect.

Is it just me?  Have you ever wanted a cool street name?  What would it be?  Actually, I’m feeling a contest coming on.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had one, so whoever comes up with the coolest street name wins a prize.  Bonus points may be awarded for an explanation of origin or for devising a scenario in which my street name is used as well.  I’d like to see if it sounds as cool when somebody else says it or if it’s all in my head.


22 Responses to “Yo, those kicks are streets ahead, Fresh Step”

  1. madhousewife February 18, 2011 at 2:43 pm #

    This blog is steps ahead!

    I’m not a very good street-namer. Well, I would be better at naming actual streets than most actual-street-namers are–but to be a giver of actual street names, that is something to which I probably dare not aspire.

  2. evitafjord February 18, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

    When I was in jr. high, “cute shoes” was our code for a nice butt on a guy. Actually, I’ve just frightened myself because I have a daughter in 7th grade. I’m going to pretend that it was the end of jr. high, like 9th grade, when we started discussing this and imagine that I have 2 more years. Also, I’m going to distract myself by pondering the street names question.

  3. bythelbs February 18, 2011 at 2:59 pm #

    Oh, come now, Mad, surely your new hardware acquisition can inspire you.

    Evita—I’ve never really been a butt-woman–it’s not typically the focus of my ogling, but I do often frighten myself with similar thoughts about what I was doing at the ages of my children now.

  4. evitafjord February 18, 2011 at 3:12 pm #

    I take a little solace in the fact that she runs with a much nerdier crowd than I did in middle school (nerdiness that she happily self-proclaims) and I mostly believe her when she says boys are still yucky or, more specifically, dumb.

  5. shazbraz February 18, 2011 at 5:57 pm #

    As I write, I am wearing a pair of red converse-type shoes that I got on the clearance rack at the WM for $1. They have a little studded heart on them and I believe they are Hannah Montana. I make sure when I wear them, to keep my 41-year-old tongue planted firmly in my cheek.

    Anyway…I don’t know about a street name for you but my husband (who has always had people ask him if he’s Jewish) tried to get “DJ Radder Rabbi Jacob” to catch on. It did not.

    I have never thought of my kids in terms of what I was doing at that age before, but now I have and I may be having a stroke.

    • bythelbs February 18, 2011 at 6:02 pm #

      Hannah Montana shoes? I can’t compete with that.

      And you don’t need to come up with a street name for me—I already have one. What would YOUR street name be? Or maybe you were just saying you don’t have a street name for yourself to share with me… Oh. Also, I think your husband’s problem is length. How about just “DJ Rabbi”? That’s not as rad, but it’s still cool.

  6. Janelle February 18, 2011 at 6:03 pm #

    My non-street name is “loud-mouth prude.”

    Used in a sentence: “Will that leader please stop yapping about the dire effects of pornography! She is such a loud-mouth prude.”

    Street name: “Squoosh” as in, “Yo Squoosh keep those locks a rockin’!”

    Squoosh being the sound my Pantene pounding hair makes as the cyclone fans hit during a promotional photo shoot for Step It Up 4: Dance Till Your Feet Fall Off.”

    • bythelbs February 18, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

      Awesome, Janelle. And bonus points for the Step Up reference, only I’m thinking Step it Up 4: Dance Till Your Feet Fall Off starring Squoosh with a special appearance by Fresh Step.

      • Janelle February 18, 2011 at 6:32 pm #


  7. Alison Wonderland February 19, 2011 at 10:28 am #

    I’m just going to find a comfy seat and spectate this one, I’ve got nothing to contribute but I am enjoying the discussion.

  8. Julie February 19, 2011 at 4:09 pm #

    My street name was coined 8 years ago when I married into a family who already had a Julie. Just call me JRo. Or J to the Ro if you’re feelin streets ahead.

    Fresh Step and JRo’s soon to be released album: “Word from your Mother.”

  9. tawnya February 19, 2011 at 7:33 pm #

    1. There is nothing about this post I do not love.

    2. I have so much to say about Sharon’s shoes. But let’s start with how I’m feeling a little dirty for thinking they were cute.

    3. Isaac called me Captain OCD tonight. I don’t think that counts…

  10. cheryl February 19, 2011 at 8:58 pm #

    My street name is Thinks She’s Cool.

    And it explains EVERYTHING. Even the name. 😉

  11. bythelbs February 19, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

    Alison—You’re always welcome to pull up a chair.

    Julie—I can’t say JRo without a Scooby Doo voice.

    Tawnya—Captain OCD. Heh. We need to add a little ghetto. Maybe Captain OCDizzle or something?

    Cheryl—But you ARE cool. Even cooler than you think you think you are.

  12. Boquinha February 20, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

    Oh, how I wish I could contribute something clever to this. I did laugh out loud several times, both from the post and the comments. You have an awesome blog readership. Very few blogs are so funny that both posts AND comments are funny, but this blog most definitely fits that bill.

    Wait! I suppose my street name could be “fun size,” as in, “Shut up. It’s cool to be 5’2.”

    Scenario: Fun Size meets Fresh Step on the street (of course) and notices that her friend is wearing Hannah Montana converse sneakers.

    “Dayum, Fresh Step, you be sporting da’ mean tween foot bling!”

    “Yo, Fun Size, ain’t got nothing on my Maui peds. Those are da’ tropical bomb, yo!”


    (Okay, truthfully, that pained me. Really and truly).

  13. Lora February 22, 2011 at 8:21 pm #

    I’m just gonna laugh! That last one was da bomb!

  14. Julie February 23, 2011 at 7:13 am #

    Boquina for the win!

  15. Flip flop mama February 23, 2011 at 10:16 am #

    Boquina FTW definitely!

  16. Boquinha February 26, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    LOL! Wow, why thank you! 😛 I mean, Yo.


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