So every time I go to the grocery store now, I do my best to avoid that guy. I think we’ve established I do not particularly enjoy his small talk. But ultimately, my prime directive when grocery shopping is to get the heck out of there ASAP, so if his is the shortest line, I’ll suck it up.
Shopping with BigHugs. She’s helping me unload the cart.
That Guy (formerly known as YMC–Young Male Checker), gesturing towards BigHugs as she’s helping me: At least they’re good for something, huh?
Me: Uh, yeah.
TG: Plus you gotta have someone to take care of you in your old age.
Grocery shopping with Chuck on a Saturday night.
Chuck: That line looks the shortest.
Me: Man, not that guy. I hate that guy. He called me old. Twice.
Let him call me old with Chuck there!
TG: So, any big plans for the weekend?
Me: Just grocery shopping.
TG: Wow. So I’m like the highlight of your weekend.
Me, in a total deadpan voice: Uh, yeah. The highlight.
So now I’m old and pathetic. I hate that guy.
Yesterday on my way into the Target, I passed a panhandler (no, I did not hit on him—this time) with a sign that read, “Need $$$ for dog food”. He had a dog sitting next to him—a very healthy, well-groomed looking kind of dog. I gave half-a-second’s thought to purchasing a can of dog food to give to him on my way out, but then decided against it. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one not feeling particularly generous to dogs that day because on the way out I noticed the panhandler had changed his strategy and was now holding a sign that read, “Spare money 4 pot!” Do you suppose that was for him or the dog?