Archive | Bythelbsia RSS feed for this section

At last

22 Feb

We the sisterhood hereby instate the following rules to govern the use of the traveling notebook:

1. The Notebook should be kept for a period of about one week.   The Notebook should be circulated in a timely manner.   (No one should have a chance to forget its existence before they’ve had a chance to see it.)  See the list at the back of the book for the next sister to send it to.

2. There is no minimum/maximum entries requirement, but keep in mind the Notebook is for everyone, not just you. (Don’t be a page hog.)

3. Don’t use the Notebook for your blog. Don’t blog/tweet/fb about anyone else’s entries. Don’t duplicate your own entries for your blog unless you’re using the Notebook to tell the “real” story you would be too embarrassed to post on your blog (which would actually be encouraged).

4. You must identify any foreign substance that makes its way into/onto the Notebook for the peace of mind of everyone else who will be using the Notebook. (You may lie if necessary.)

5. The Notebook must never enter a bathroom. In case of emergency (ie: being in a public place and having to use a restroom and there’s no one to hold the Notebook while you’re in the bathroom, the Notebook must be safely tucked inside your jacket or purse or something so that it never touches the facilities.)

6. Don’t share anything too private. We are all interested in the intimate details of your life, but not the intimate details.  It may also be wise to leave out anything that could be used against you in a court of law.

7. You must never tear pages out of the Notebook. There will never be a time when this will not be tacky. This isn’t a time to be perfect, but a time to be real.  (Exceptions would be in cases of violations of some of the above rules–use your best judgement.)

8. You may comment on other entries, but be respectful.  And witty.

9. For the last page you write on before mailing it to the next participant: On the left side of the page, write the most exciting place you have been while in possession of the Notebook. On the right side of the page, write the most important thing that has happened to you while in possession of the Notebook. Also, affix some kind of memento of your week to the cover, taking care not to interfere with what others have already contributed to the cover decorations.

10. Remember: The Notebook=Love.  Love your sisters.  Love yourself.

Sorry it took so long, but I decided I would wait until I had finished my week with the Notebook so I could make them up as I went along.  I think I managed to include everyone else’s contributions as well.

The plan is to send it on its merry way tomorrow.  You’re up next, Tawnya, so keep an eye out for it.

Have a great weekend, ladies!

The Rules

22 Jan

I’m excited by the response to the traveling notebook idea!

Here is the list of willing participants I have so far:


It’s not too late to join if anyone else is interested.

Before I get started (I assumed I would be first if that’s OK with everyone else), I thought we should establish some rules.  I think everyone who is participating should have a say in the rules.

Here are the Sisterhood of the  Traveling Pants rules to help you get the ideas flowing…

We the sisterhood hereby instate the following rules to govern the use of the traveling pants:

1.  You must never wash the Pants.

2.  You must never double-cuff the Pants.  There will never be a time when this will not be tacky.

3.  You must never say the word “phat” while wearing the Pants.  You must also never think to yourself “I am fat” while wearing the Pants.

4.  You must never let a boy take off the Pants (although you may take them off yourself in his presence).

5.  You must not pick your nose while wearing the Pants.  You may, however, scratch casually at your nostril while really kind of picking.

6.  Upon our reunion, you must follow the proper procedure for documenting your time in the Pants:
On the left leg of the Pants, write the most exciting place you have been while wearing the Pants.
On the right leg of the Pants, write the most important thing that has happened to you while wearing the Pants.

7.  You must write to your Sisters throughout the summer, no matter how much fun you are having without them.

8.  You must pass the Pants along to your Sisters according to the specifications set down by the Sisterhood. Failure to comply will result in a severe spanking upon our reunion.

9.  You must not wear the Pants with a tucked in shirt and belt. See rule #2.

10. Remember: Pants=Love. Love your pals. Love yourself.

Obviously our own rules will be very different.  For example, I was thinking of something along the lines of:

You must identify any foreign substance that makes its way into/onto the Notebook for the peace of mind of everyone else who will be using the Notebook. (You may lie if necessary.)

OK, your turn.

I have an idea

18 Jan

Over the holiday break my nieces were home from college, and one day I overheard them watching The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.  The idea of having an item that connects a group of friends and allows them opportunities to share experiences appeals to me.  Obviously, a pair of jeans that fits and flatters everyone is crazy ridiculous, especially when you move beyond the realm of young Hollywood starlets.  (And don’t even get me started about the kinds of things that went on in those pants! And they weren’t even allowed to wash them!)

I think I’ve mentioned briefly before that a group of girlfriends and I have a birthday club.  Each year we have a different gift theme where we take turns being the gifter for the birthday girl.  We go out to dinner and stuff our faces, talk, laugh, talk and laugh some more–sometimes into the wee hours.  At our age, and with 19 kids between us, the wee hours is 11:30pm, but still it’s a good time!  One element I don’t think I’ve mentioned is the birthday club quote book, in which highlights from the evening are recorded in a small journal.  Quotes are generally out of context and always unattributed (to protect the guilty and the innocent).  It never ceases to amaze me how many hilarious and/or witty, profound, thoughtful, eyebrow-raising things come out of our mouths on these nights out, and if my house should ever catch fire, that birthday club journal would be one of the first things I grab!

So getting to my idea–I thought it might be fun to have a Sisterhood of the Traveling Notebook where the citizens of Bythelbsia take turns recording their thoughts, special (or not so special) events of the day/week, witticisms, helpful hints, hopes, dreams, disappointments or whatever.  I’m imagining a list of willing participants who will each keep the journal for about a week before mailing it on to the next gal and so on and so forth until it ends back with me again.  I would then make a copy for each contributor to keep and treasure forever or until your next big clutter purge, depending on your sentimentality level.  Along the way you could make comments on other people’s entries, add a “decoration” of sorts to the cover, and other things that I haven’t thought of yet.

I know many of us have contact through the blogosphere, but I thought this might be an interesting experiment.  This isn’t a fully conceived idea yet (can you half conceive something? or partially conceive something?).  We will need to come up with a list of rules to govern the use of the traveling notebook, and I’m thinking I could send out friendly reminder e-mails to you lovely busy women so the notebook doesn’t spend too much time in one place (i.e. you flake out on us!).

So what do you think?  Anyone interested?  And don’t worry if you feel like you don’t know anyone–I think that would be part of the fun of the experience!

Blog Years

1 Feb

So apparently my blog turned two last Friday.  And I missed it.  Oh well.  You know how it is, the older you get, the less exciting birthdays are.  And blogs seem to age at an advanced rate, much like dogs.  Only the blog seems to age exponentially rather than at a steady pace.

By the lbs is two years old, which is bordering on Senior Citizenhood in blog years, I think.  So by this point a blog is either an incontinent, senile, blathering but still somewhat endearing mess or an experienced and learned voice of wisdom.

I can feel my Depends riding up as I type.

When I started this little endeavor way back in ought eight, I had plans.  Big plans.  I was going to do some serious work.  I was going to hone my skills.  I was going to create an impressive portfolio of publishable columns that would springboard me into the real world of professional journalism. 

Well, we can all see how far I got with that.

So what do I have to show for it?  At least a dozen new friends I plan to treasure for years to come.  So thank you for that.  Have some cake.

Prove me wrong, Universe! and a special comment

19 Nov

Yesterday I made an appointment to have BigHugs’ picture taken.  So you know what that means—some time in the next 24 hours she will either come down with a cold, a raging case of pinkeye or have some other kind of face-maiming accident.  She hasn’t had a professional picture taken in over 2 years.  Can you guess why?  It seems almost irresponsible of me to risk my child’s health and safety this way with an actual scheduled appointment, but for some reason I felt it must be done.  I’m hoping this time the universe will prove me wrong.  Prove me wrong, Universe!  Prove me wrong!

And now, on a more serious note: a Bythelbs special comment. 

Yesterday something else happened that turned my world upside down.  Black is no longer black.  White is no longer white.  Everything is just a big fat puddle of muddled gray.  And just when I was thinking that things might be starting to calm down—that maybe we’re getting ready to move past all of this election drama and settle into our new reality.  But now I’m not so sure we’re ready to move on together.  It seems that we’re as divided as ever. 

I consider myself to be a very open-minded, reasonably non-judgmental person.  I like to think of our little blogging community here at Bythelbsia as a safe place for people of all persuasions, walks of life, values and ideas, but even I’m having difficulty reconciling my affection for dear friends with their individual beliefs and opinions.  No, I am confident I can get past this.  It may not be today or even tomorrow.  But the day will come again when I can see you all as the good, good people that you truly are regardless of your Cheetos-density preference.  It will come.  I must believe it.

Friday Funnies, my friends

14 Nov



You know, I didn’t start this little blogging venture with the intention of making money.  Which is good.  Because I haven’t.  At all.  That’s not to say it hasn’t been a profitable experience.  I’ve become rich in friends, dear readers.  Rich.  In.  Friends.  Yeah, I’m talking about you, people.  So thank you.

Have an awesome weekend!

(Insert cheesy musical tribute here.)

Darn that Cuss-o-meter

23 Oct

So the other day I was blog browsing and came across this test over at Mary’s place.  You plug in your blog’s URL and it measures your use of profanity and spits out a percentage.  According to the cuss-o-meter, my blog is G rated—no cussing.  I hate to admit it, but I was slightly disappointed.  Here I thought I was all edgy and pushing the envelope of polite conversation.  I’ve even been concerned at times that I might offend or corrupt someone, but apparently I’m wholesome.  Wholesome!  Harumph.

Here it is—proof of my piety:

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?

Just for kicks, I thought I’d test out some of the blogs I frequent to see how they compare to my own wholesomey goodness.  And the blogs I frequent, gentle readers, are yours.  Yes, yours.  There were some interesting results, which I will now publish here.  Don’t worry, I’ve kept you anonymous to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Frankly, I was thinking this one was a little low.

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?


I was kind of surprised by this one as I’ve rarely encountered anything I would consider to be off-color.

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?


This one didn’t surprise me at all.

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou


I think this one’s a wannabe rebel.  Like me.  Only a more successful one, obviously, with that half a percent.

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?

So getting back to me, I’m curious if any of you are surprised by my results.  Has my word choice ever given you pause?  Am I your guilty pleasure?  Or am I a regular Pollyanna?  Is there no edginess here?  Am I completely devoid of edges?  This is for posterity, so be honest.

Propagating the bows of friendship

6 Oct

An award!  From Cheryl!  Behold the oddness!

This blog invests and believes, the proximity. [meaning, that blogging makes us ‘close’ -being close through proxy]. They all are charmed with the blogs, where in the majority of its aims are to show the marvels and to do friendship; there are persons who are not interested when we give them a prize, and then they help to cut these bows; do we want that they are cut, or that they propagate? Then let’s try to give more attention to them! So with this prize we must deliver it to 8 bloggers that in turn must make the same thing and put this text.

I know, this is so last week, but with DynaGirl’s birthday and the homecoming of the Chuck, I had already posted two days ahead, and when you already have posts just sitting there in the queue all ready to post, you don’t just jump in there and post again.  Timeliness be darned!

I realized just this morning that this is a chain award, and I’m not usually a chain person, but I am always loathe to cut the bows of proximity to our friendship so I am extending this award to:

Susan M, kamillivanilli, Boquinha, Patience and Jody.

Yes, I know that’s only five, but with the rounds this award has been making, I’m running out of bows of friendship.  I only know so many people, people.  Not to say that these five fine bloggers are awardees by default or that I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel in any way.  There is no barrel bottom here!  No sir!

And, my friends, please do not in any way feel obligated to continue the chain.  I promise not to come to your blog and check to see if you have posted about it or anything.  Well, I suppose since I read all of your blogs I will know if you have posted about it, but I will be in no way offended should you choose to revel in the glory of this award privately.

Ooh, but you could do this 7 random things about me meme that goes with it!

1.  I think I may have a minor apple allergy.  Whenever I eat more than a couple of apple slices my face gets all hot and flush. 

2.  When I take dinner to someone (like when they have a new baby or an illness) I always make the same thing.  Creamy chicken enchiladas.  Always.  And if I really like them, they get guacamole, too.

3.  The word “supple” really creeps me out.  There are many other words that would also go in this category, but that’s the first one to come to mind.

4.  I am kind of afraid of raisins.  *shudder*

5.  As a youth, I was known to do a killer Fat Albert impression.  My younger sister could do a similar voice, but it wasn’t quite the same so we called it her Skinny Albert.  Or maybe it was just because she was skinny.

6.  I haven’t been to a doctor for anything besides birthing babies in almost 14 years.

7.  I’ve composed dozens of Oscar acceptance speeches in my head.  They are always witty and funny, touching and relevant, and when I’m done delivering them, Meryl Streep gives me a standing O and I get a meaningful head nod from Jack Nicholson.

Great expectations—met

7 Sep

Had a great time with the special visitor!  It wasn’t even the slightest bit weird to have my online never before seen in the flesh friend in my home in the flesh, which, really, is exactly what I had expected.  Those really are the best kind of friends—the ones who just fit so naturally and effortlessly and seem to have been there all along.


Blasted mosaic meme—at last

9 Aug

I’ve been trying to do this blasted photo meme forever, and with Madhousewife’s help I was finally able to figure it out.  Apparently, I was making it more difficult than it actually needed to be, which is totally unlike me, by the way.  Snort.

1. Iglesia en La Urz – Riello, Omaña – País Leonés, Spain, 2. Vegetarian Tacos even meat-eaters will love!, 3. Womens Basketball Charter Oak, 4. Girasoles acariciados por el viento …/ Sunflowers kissed the wind … (Dedicada a mis 7500 visitantes/Dedicated to my 7500 visitors), 5. Rupert Penry-Jones, 6. Water Lily and its mirror image, 7. The Trulli of Alberobello at nightfall., 8. cheesecake for Lianna!, 9. We are choosing hope over fear., 10. Happiness, 11. Paint by Water and Light, 12. rambouillet harfang hilare 130705


I’ve seen this over at Madhousewife’s, Cheryl’s and Mother of the Wild Boys, so props to all of them.  (I just tried to spell of “ove” like love minus the “l”.  That was weird.)

Here’s how it works:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker. Choose 3 columns with 4 rows.
The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name. (kid version: favorite animal?)

Have fun!

Oh, and my answer to #10 was not “adorable bare Asian baby bums”, but that was a close second.