Last night I dreamed that I was volunteering in my daughter’s kindergarten class and Lionel Richie was there doing a mentoring session American Idol style. There was a cute little boy totally rockin’ the Dancing on the Ceiling. Needless to say I was pretty bummed when I woke up before it was Goose’s turn. I wonder what she would have sung?
Speaking of Goose, last night I put her in the bath and then went downstairs to swap out some loads of laundry. When I came back up she was lying face down on the bottom of the tub. I called her name and she didn’t move. I called it louder and she didn’t move. Just as I was about to scoop her up out of the bathtub she sat up. Scared the holy living crap out of me. I totally gave her the what for about not scaring me like that ever again. Note to all—it’s never funny to pretend that you’re dead. Never. Ever. Ever. It ruined my whole night. I’m getting a little sick just telling you all about it now.
Speaking of sick, BigHugs has a bad cold and nasty cough. Yesterday she woke up all tired and coughy and said, “Mom, I’m sick. I have a fevah.” And can you guess what I said? What I had to say? “Is the only prescription more cowbell?” Sometimes my humor is totally lost on my 2 year old.
Speaking of humor, I enjoyed all y’all’s search term hits on last week’s Wacky Search Term Wednesday post. Jumbo Shrimp will be receiving her very own genuine miniature sock monkey. Could you e-mail me your address, Jumbo? I thought I had it, but I seem to have misplaced it. As soon as I get it, I’ll send off your monkey and maybe a few other very “special” bythelbs’s signature surprises post haste.
Speaking of post, this is my 99th! Which means tomorrow, barring any unforseen emergencies or natural disasters, will be my 100th post. Any ideas on what I should do? FYI, I’m not particularly interested in making a list of 100 random things about me. First of all, I’m not sure that I could come up with 100 things. And also that would be boring. And if there’s anything a 100th post shouldn’t be, it’s boring. So help me out with your brilliant ideas (you’ve only got today, though, so get on it!) and save us all from the boring.
Speaking of boring, I was bored to pieces yesterday. Reese’s Pieces. Literally. And by that I mean I was so bored that I kept going to the pantry for something to snack on and found my secret stash of Reese’s treats (Chuck you didn’t hear or er, read that) and inhaled a bag of Reese’s Pieces. Well, not the whole bag. About halfway through I lost interest. I started feeling sick actually. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the cheezits and salsa verde doritos and mint oreos and spoonfuls of peanut butter I had already eaten. Why do I do these things to myself? Why? Why?!
Speaking of why? why?! My girls normally ride the bus to school, but this week it’s been all rainy and cold and I haven’t wanted to drag BigHugs out in the rain and cold with her cough and cold, so I’ve just been driving to school. Can I tell you how much I hate driving to school? I’m not sure that I can. Are there adequate words to describe my frustration and pissed-off-ed-ness with all those parents who are incapable of grasping the idea of pull forward? Pull forward, people! It’s not that hard! See all those cars behind you just waiting, waiting, waiting when there is like 6 car lengths of free space ahead of you?! What’s the matter with you?!
Speaking of what’s the matter with you, what’s the matter with me? The other day I had a lovely couple come to my door spreading the good word about the good book, and all I could think of was how totally hot that guy was. No seriously, I had no idea there were JW’s that were that attractive. (Sorry, Chuck, but he was. Not as attractive as you, of course, but still.) Not that I’ve ever thought that unattractiveness was a shared quality among the lovely people that are Jehovah’s Witnesses, but seriously, this guy was really cute. And I was trying really hard not to look like I was checking him out because his wife was standing right there. Needless to say, I accepted his literature with a smile.
Speaking of smile, what’s making you smile today?