First off, remember this? I had the biggest crush on Johnny Gage. He made me weak in my six-year-old knees.
And check out how well he’s aged.
Randolph Mantooth—Rrrowrr! (OK, I totally just weirded myself out with the rrrowrring.)
So you know how I occasionally get misdirected e-mails? Well, the latest have been from a gal who is in charge of emergency preparedness for her church congregation. I’ve gotten information on some great deals on bulk candles and wheat. I haven’t bothered to tell her her mail has gone astray because frankly, this is helpful information. And amusing. I got this one the other day that was actually a forward from another guy. And don’t worry, I’ve changed the name to protect the innocent.
I learned something new I wish to share with everyone. Rolls of Toilet Tissue are available through contacting a janitorial supply company, you can get the super large rolls of toilet paper for substantially less money by the case. I intend to buy 3 to 10 cases for personal use.Reg McDougall
I love how he felt the need to capitalize “Toilet Tissue”. I can only assume he intended to catch the reader’s attention. There are a lot of e-mail skimmers out there, you know, and had he not gone with the capitals, they may have missed this potentially life-saving information completely.
I wish I had Reg’s contact information as I have a number of follow-up questions.
1. How would you define “super large”? Are we talking a double-double roll? A wheel?
2. Three to 10 cases, Reg? That’s quite a range there to be considering. I’ll either buy three of these or ten of these or some number in between. How will you decide?
3. You’ll be using 3 to 10 cases personally? Like all by yourself? Maybe he’s awaiting some test results, and depending on the outcome, he’ll be buying 3 to 10 cases. It would be foolish to buy 10 now without knowing what the chances are he’ll be around long enough to use them. Or maybe you mean personal as in:
Concerned friend: What are you going to do with 3 to 10 cases of super large rolls of toilet paper, Reg?
Reg: I’d rather not talk about it. It’s personal.
Reg: I’d like to order 3 to 10 cases of super large rolls of toilet paper.
Janitorial supply company sales rep: And what will you be doing with the Toilet Tissue, sir?
Reg: Um, it’s personal.
Janitorial supply company sales rep: I’m sorry, sir, but I’m going to need that information for my form before I can complete the transaction.
4. Just how big is the toilet paper holder in your bathroom? Do you have your own personal stall at home complete with metal toilet paper lockbox? Ooh, do you have a toilet seat cover dispenser? Where might I find one of those? Can the toilet seat covers be purchased by the case as well? I’d like 3 to 10 cases for personal use.
Did anyone else watch Emergency!? Johnny Gage. Swooning sigh.